EEK! I got tagged!
If you don't know, Oneg and James have a new challenge out today, the Tag You're It! challenge. I foolishly replied to his brilliant micro fiction story and he got me. Here's how it works...
Pick a Vocal community and tag/nominate another writer to write a poem or 100-word micro fic about it BUT you only have 15 minutes to write!
I was tagged in the Proof Community.
The Roommate
Just the other day
A faint bell sounded
The memory of alcohol
and that it exists.
So many days without—
birthdays past and
parties too—the spirits’
burns do not entice me
though I know someone
for whom they do.
Late nights, I see this man
nowhere, surely holed up
with his bottles. A rat
in his own home, hidden,
as if that could make it
false. But I know the red
in his gaze, blank face,
slow instincts add paint
to a canvas that dangles
above the stairs, up where I
and his best friend live
a hole of our own,
silent in a silent house
forgetting the taste of
ghosts.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
Boycott AI!
Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
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Compelling and original writing
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Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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More stories from Mackenzie Davis and writers in Poets and other communities.
The Devil's Triangle
The sails ruffled in the breeze as we cruised along. The Sea Breeze was a mid-size catamaran that sailed out of Royal Naval Dockyard in Bermuda. We had booked this trip weeks in advance and were now looking at our Captain, Spike and two boat hands. Paddy and Wilson seemed like nice guys, joking around with the passengers and telling us some stories about Bermuda that only locals would know. Their island accents sounded almost British but they were pleasant to listen to.
By Barbara Gode Wiles3 days ago in Fiction
Comments (10)
Okay... way to show off a little! 😜 I can't believe you wrote this beautiful work in 15 minutes, did you even have time to edit it? Of course not, but you probably didn't need to either! I love the vivid imagery and the forlorn story it illustrates! Beautiful done Mackenzie!
Oh my gosh. Indeed, this is poignant and real.
Magnificent, pure raw feelings. Impressive anytime, but 15 minutes is beyond stellar work. I like your mind. 🥰
Wow. This is fantastic. You nailed it. I've been tagged twice so I know that Eek..
This was so poignant and very beautifully written! You nailed this challenge!
Nicely done, Mackenzie.
I felt the despair and looming darkness in this one. Solid solid feeling throughout you’ve done brilliantly with your poem for this challenge so glad you participated
This is exquisite. Simply stunning. "A rat in his own home, hidden, as if that could make it false" Why do I know this is not about just the rat. Oof. Also the last two lines, surreal magic - up where I and his best friend live a hole of our own, silent in a silent house forgetting the taste of ghosts. Mackenzie, yet another jaw dropping poem. You really know how to pack a punch with these silly little things we call words.
Oh wow. You definitely killed it with this one. The last two lines, just a gut punch of reality and melancholy.
Oh, there is so much sadness squeezed into such a short piece! Well done, Mackenzie!