When 20 Years Becomes Never Again
Reflections when divorce is looming
In the arrogance of my youth I thought that I could do anything.
Get married? I should be fine. That’s the right thing to do.
Have kids? I don’t want them but she won’t shut up about it.
I can handle this. I can handle anything. I’m 23.
20 years later. It all comes to an end.
It feels like it never happened.
Another life. Another person. He was young and arrogant and stupid.
Why didn’t anyone tell him!
The only evidence of that life is my children.
They share her DNA.
How could I swap DNA with someone I don’t even like anymore?
I love my children but I wish I never met her.
I’m talking crazy. There’s so many thoughts and feelings.
This chapter of my life is over.
A failed experiment.
Is it ok to call a life involving others an experiment?
For the past five years, I couldn’t think of a single happy memory.
Now that it’s almost over, they’re starting to make their way back.
What is this feeling? It’s not fear, it’s not regret, it’s not nostalgia.
Could it be hope?
About the Creator
Jesse Lee
Poems and essays about faith, failure, love, and whatever’s still twitching after the dust settles. Dark humor, emotional shrapnel, occasional clarity, always painfully honest.
1st things first
Resist unholy Antidisestablishment- arianism XXXXXX For John and Paul's Three-Word Haiku/Senryu Unofficial Challenge Before anyone can issue a challenge to the form of my haiku, let me set forth my defense that NOWHERE in the rules do the worthy judges state that each line must consist ofa word. And I quote: "Must be a haiku/senryu consisting of just three words, following the usual syllable demands of 5-7-5."
By Sonia Heidi Unruh2 days ago in Poets
Lately, I'm empty
Lately, I feel an emptiness inside of me that doesn’t make any sense. I was fine a week ago and now I’m numb to the pain that I’ve been carrying around. Numb to the idea of me existing. I wish I could go to a place where I can hear happy positive thoughts and surround myself with joy. The medication I’m on doesn’t seem to work anymore. I still feel pain from existing, why am I here anyways? Merely to exist. I don’t feel like I’m making any differences being here.
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Comments (2)
Sometimes when we're unhappy in a space, all we can remember is the shitty parts, but when we step out and gain some clarity, the beautiful parts have the space to trickle their way back in. That being said, just because you can now remember some of the good, does not warrant going back. I think the best thing to do is take the lessons you learned and let them shape you into who you want to be.
My submission to the “Say It Plainly” challenge.