Culture
F/F Books That Are Good, Actually!
If you’ve spent any time on LGBT+ Twitter, you’ve probably come across the argument that there are no decent female/female (F/F) books out there. The argument goes that there are plenty of great male/male (M/M) books on offer, and if this is what you were looking for, you’d have no trouble finding a novel that resonates with you. However, if you were looking for some sapphic stories, you’ll probably come up empty or with a fist-full of trash.
By Nancy Driver5 years ago in Pride
Fitting In
Upon looking up the word or phrase fitting in, I learned that fitting in means to be socially compatible with other members of a group and similarly to find room or have sufficient space for someone or something. It seems by that definition everyone else had a box that they could check, whether it was yes I’m socially compatible or yes there is room for me. But there was a moment I felt that everyone had that box but me. I even felt as though I couldn’t even turn to my race, my skin color for a box that allowed me to fit in by that definition. I mean how simple would have been just to use my race and say there it is, I’m compatible, but yet I couldn’t even do that. It was drilled in me that black doesn’t crack, it was supposed to be beautiful, confident and resilient. Even that definition didn’t allow me a box I could check. I’m already failing the black girl magic test and all I have done so far it just walk into the room. I entered every room and immediately get an overwhelming sensation that I don’t belong, that this place was not meant for me. I felt as if I had stumbled on it by accident and had gotten lucky enough that someone let me through the door. No one could be looking at me, but I just knew they were staring and saying amongst themselves “why is she here, does she not know that the world wasn’t designed for her?” Where is my fairy godmother in that moment to wave a wand and sprinkle some magic dust on me to make a Cinderella moment happen. My godmother is no where to be found, so it ‘s just me and my thoughts, and a feeling of a thousand blind eyes judging me, and they don’t like what they see. It’s just me walking into the room with my things rubbing together creating friction and doubt, my breasts bouncing as if they are trying to escape from the bondage of my bra, and people pay a fortune to make these things bigger, they must enjoy back pain. To add to all of that is the stomping sounds that the weight of my feet make. I might as well as me the elephant in the room, I’m something that you don’t want to look at but you cant help but notice. I’m unpleasantly loud and for God’s sakes who wants an elephant in their room. There is no place for an elephant but aside and out of the way when it comes to human social interactions, and elephant would not be popular in that context. One moment can define you, and mine came like most did in high school, where fitting in is a fairy tale. I was a cheerleader in high school, not a popular one, but one none the less. If you ever thought that there was no such thing as an unpopular cheerleader, well here I am to debunk that myth. I put those two words together like an oxymoron, unpopular and cheerleader contradictory in every way, proven by every teenage and high school movie ever made. Cheerleaders were always many things, mean, cruel, selfish, harsh, vindictive, but never unpopular. I was the only black cheerleader between both the varsity and junior varsity squad. So who was I going to relate to, and who was going to relate to me. I stood at 5’6”, 150 lbs, size 10 shoes, size XL uniform, and daughter of a janitor and cafeteria worker, none of which I ever felt excluded me from anything. But in this squad I was the tallest, the thickest, the blackest, and the poorest member on the squad. I didn’t look like them, I didn’t have the same life experiences as them, and my hair was definitely not like them. I can think of many significant moments from being on that squad that made me feel out of place, moment where it seemed like the timeline had gotten discombobulated and somehow the Phyllis that was me became the cheerleader that another Phyllis somewhere else was supposed to be. Maybe I was never supposed to be here, and there were many moments that made me believe that was a fact, but none as significantly defining as the uncomfortable issue of my hair. I know its just hair, and its not a vital organ like a heart or your lungs, but if there is a challenge placed on your hair it becomes very vital then. Even Rapunzel had a harder time being saved from the tower without her hair, and even men go through extreme measures, physically and financially when they start losing their hair, so don’t be so quick to dismiss the importance of hair, especially when you as a black girl hear nine white girls say “we can’t do that in our routine because of Phyllis’ hair.” What was that? Was that empathy? Were they expressing understanding of my hair being different and therefore had different limitations from their own hair. Did they even know enough about my hair to being using empathy. I mean this was 1999, if black hair was ever popular, it was surely not popular then. Did they know that I didn’t have to wash my hair every day, that I had to grease my scalp, that getting my scalp scratched was a connecting tradition. My thighs didn’t fit in, my shoe size didn’t fit, my weight didn’t fit in, and now my hair didn’t either. Maybe they meant to be empathetic but the words were said in a way that conveyed privilege and frustration. Apparently they wanted to do a part in the dance routine where we would take our hair out of the high top ponytail it was in and bend over flipping our hair and then we would stand up and toss our hair over our shoulders in a sassy and sexy way. My hair would do none of those movements, so here I was signaled out, being reminded again that I was different and probably should not have been on the squad in the first place. Thinking about it now it seems silly and mundane, we probably would have looked more stupid than sexy doing that in the routine, but at that time it was a pivotal moment for a bunch of girls to project their sexuality. Hindsight always wins, if they knew what they know now they would have thanked my hair for preventing them from doing something silly, and if I felt the way about my hair as I do now I would have unapologetically laughed in their faces about how upset they were feeling about a ridiculous routine. I have grown in confidence about my hair and my size, and in some ways I do have to give society part of the credit because society has grown in defining beauty by more than one standard.
By Phyllis Andrews 5 years ago in Pride
Why Are There So Many Different Pride Flags?
I’m just 1 person who loves how many different pride flags exist. Most everyone is familiar with the rainbow pride flag, which serves as a central symbol for the LGBTQ+ community. But there are dozens more representing different genders, sexualities, and subcommunities. There have also been a number of different versions of the rainbow flag over the years. Why are there so many? The short answer is: because we want everyone to feel seen and represented. But there’s more to it than that. Every flag the LGBTQ+ community uses has meaning.
By Kate McDevitt5 years ago in Pride
Pucker up for Pride!
This Pride, celebrity blog Mr. Man looks back on the top 100 Iconic Gay Kisses that have lit up big and small screens and helped make a positive statement, infusing "love is love" into the mainstream ethos. They include Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in 2005’s monumental Brokeback Mountain, Sean Sasser and Pedro Zamora in 1992’s The Real World, Ashton Sanders and Jharrel Jerome in 2016’s Moonlight, and more.
By Ben Nelson5 years ago in Pride
Katy's Pride Playlist
From Bronski Beat to Lil Nas X, my playlist expresses a story which can be viewed as a narrative love story or an allegory for how our community has struggled towards freedom over the past century or so. Each song in my playlist is represented by a line in a poem, telling a story of queer love and self-acceptance. The protagonist comes from a difficult situation and through connecting with community is able to develop self-confidence, pride and love. Lines from my playlist songs go together to tell a story of adversity, courage, victory and love. The protagonist in the story goes through three main phases; Isolation, Community and Love.
By Katy Stuff5 years ago in Pride
Dancing Out of the Closet
If there's one thing that would spring first to mind if you ask my loved ones what they think of when they think of me, it's THEATRE. It's not just my job, gentles and lady-men. It's a lifestyle. So, of course, in fitting "me" fashion, when I came out, I did it in public, and I did it to music. I was simultaneously appearing in two musical, and completely queer, productions. So the music that helped me find myself, from those two shows, takes the top spots on my playlist for Pride 2021
By Steph Cole5 years ago in Pride
The debate
The Debate By: Chauntelle A A sticky and humid night in Charlotte added to what was becoming a very tense moment as the group of friends engaged in a heated discussion about the best song to represent their LGBTQQIAAP community dance. Patria is the feisty self-appointed leader, leaning into the table from which they were sitting around. The table wobbled, Patria says, " okay people we've been sitting here for an hour, we're not getting anywhere we need to come up with a theme song for the dance." Patri says., “I think it should be Hopeless Romantic by Tink ''.
By Chauntelle A5 years ago in Pride
For Muxes, Every Month Is Pride Month. Top Story - June 2019.
In Mexico, down in the southern state of Oaxaca, muxes, pronounced MOO-shays, celebrate and honor their LGBTQ+ identities during and beyond Pride Month, and have done so since pre-colonial times. Assigned male at birth, muxes are distinctively identified as a 'third gender' amongst the Zapotec indigenous communities of Oaxaca. Muxes not only embody female physical traits and attributes, they assume familial and communal roles and responsibilities typically reserved for those assigned female at birth.
By Jose Antonio Soto7 years ago in Pride
