20 Life Lessons Learned From One Hour of Silence

For over two years, I spent one evening a week in silence. I was studying the different religions of the world at the time, and every month I would take a day to reflect and chronicle my learnings from this self-imposed silence. This was part of how I believe that the Universe was gently guiding me out of a very long dark night of the soul—that would last until I was 37.

During this inward retreat, I ate in silence, worked in silence, and only communicated through hand gestures and written notes. This was pre-kid and when I lived with my husband who worked long evening hours, and a pack of nocturnal animal rescues.

It was hard at first, but over time I grew to appreciate silence. By the time that I took a break from my studies, I learned that silence was my friend and teacher.

I also learned that silence never stops speaking.

When alone in total silence, nature speaks to us through the soft whisper of the wind, the melodious dance of fallen leaves, and through the murmurs of ancient birds telling us the secrets of the earth, the treasures of time, and bringing us back to center.

It teaches us the divine art of appreciating the beauty of all creation.

What else can silence teach us?

1. Satisfaction

I used to think that I needed to watch TV every night. But from going without, I discovered that I didn’t need it.

Silence taught me to be happy with less. Pick something that’s weighing you down and let it go. Your life will thank you.

2. Expression

When you can only talk by writing a note, you only communicate what’s truly important. Before embracing silence, I talked a lot but said little.

Silence taught me that a few simple words well-spoken have more power than hours of chatter. Think of one simple thing that you could say to help someone feel better, and say it.

3. Appreciation

Being able to speak makes life easy, but when I couldn’t talk, I learned how much I relied on others.

Silence taught me to appreciate the value of relating to others, as well as my own value. The next time that you see your friends or family, try to really listen. Deep listening expresses deep appreciation.

4. Attention

Several times when I first started, I thought that my phone was vibrating even if it wasn’t. It showed me how much my phone divided my attention.

Silence taught me how important it is to let go of distractions. The next time that you are with someone whom you care about, try turning off your phone and putting it away. It will make paying attention easier.

5. Thoughts

I tried meditating next door to a construction project. What amazed me was how easily my thoughts drowned out the noise. I realized that if my thoughts were this loud, I’d better make them as wise as possible.

Silence taught me the importance of shaping my thinking. Take time each day to notice your thoughts and let go of thoughts that don’t serve you.

6. Nature

Because I often worked outside, I know that the sound of wind in spring is different than it is in the fall.

Silence taught me to notice nature. Take a short walk outside in silence and you’ll discover the wisdom and peace that nature has to offer.

7. Body

During times of silence, I noticed that whenever I got lost in thought, I lost track of my body. And when I focused on my body, my thoughts would calm down.

Silence taught me to stay in my body. Close your eyes and ask, “What sensations do I feel in a particular body part?” Learning to feel your body can calm your troubled mind.

8. Overstimulation

Whenever I went into town after being silent, the world seemed so loud and fast. I came to realize how much our senses have to process most of the time.

Silence taught me the importance of reducing stimulation. Enjoy some quiet time every day. The less that you see and hear, the more settled your mind can become.

9. Sound

Friends would come over and remark how quiet it was. But taking time to sit and work in silence, I knew all the noises, from frogs to falcons, to the sound of shoes on the sidewalk.

Silence taught me that the world is a rich texture of sounds. Sit in front of your house and close your eyes. You’ll be amazed at what you hear if you listen for long enough.

10. Humanity

I would often sit on the porch and silently observe the hidden interconnectedness of all humanity. I saw adults caring for aging parents, mothers cradling their newborns, and college students blasting music as they drove by, enjoying their ephemeral youth.

Silence taught me that people radiate great beauty. Find a good spot to people-watch with an open heart. What you see may inspire you.

11. Space

For a long time, whenever something difficult came up, I would just distract myself. But retreat taught me that if I avoided something it would never go away.

Silence taught me that space helps me face hard times. The next time that you face something difficult, pause and honor whatever’s arising.

12. Love

I used to think that love was some big thing. But while being silent, I felt love for so many things. I felt more connected to my rescued hedgehog; it was as if the silence crossed the boundaries of speciesism and allowed us to really hear what he was communicating.

Silence also taught me that love can be simple. Think of someone for whom you haven’t expressed your love recently, and tell them how you feel.

13. Courage

I used to think that courage was about facing danger, but I realized that real courage is about facing yourself.

Silence taught me how to find the courage that is required to be still. When we stop moving, everything from which we’re running catches up. The next time that you are afraid, stop and wait for it to pass. There is immense courage inside your heart.

14. Perseverance

Every silent retreat reminded me that speaking is easy, but staying quiet is hard.

Silence isn’t flashy, but it has an immense power to endure. The next time that someone doubts you, instead of disagreeing, silently vow to not give up. Action speaks volumes.

15. Faith

I often asked for reassurance or feedback. But living in silence meant I had to trust my instincts.

Silence taught me to have faith in myself. The next time that you begin to feel anxious, sit in silence and see if you can find the deep faith that lives in your heart.

16. Honesty

I used to lie so that I wouldn’t have to explain myself. But when I couldn’t talk, I began to notice this impulse and how much it degraded my integrity.

Silence taught me the importance of telling the truth. Notice times where you tell little lies and try telling the truth instead. It isn’t always easy, but it’s the first step to trusting ourselves and others.

17. Gratitude

My life at the time was simple, and I didn’t have a lot of comforts.

Silence helped me see how much I took for granted and how much I had to be grateful for. At the end of each day, sit in silence and ask yourself what you are grateful for. You’ll be amazed at the blessings that you discover.

18. Simplicity

I used to surround myself with people that thrived on drama and conflict. But I found that I was happier when I kept it simple. I learned to be authentic.

Silence taught me that simplicity and joy are close companions. Pick one space in your home that you could simplify. Keep it simple for one month, and enjoy the ease that it offers your life.

19. Connection

I used to think that I had to talk in order to feel connected. I realized that I can feel connected just by being near people whom I care about.

Silence taught me that words can get in the way. Do something in silence with someone whom you love. It will be awkward at first, but eventually you will see what it means just to be in someone’s presence.

20. Truth

I studied philosophy in college and I thought that I could read about truth. But retreat taught me that truth is found in silence.

Silence helps to discover your true self as your focus shifts from words to inner thoughts that you may never even have known existed. Because when we go into silence, we are challenged to look deep inside and come out with our mind’s unique words.

Silence has taught me a deeper truth than words ever could. Sit in silence once a week and feel the truth in your heart. It’s always there, whether or not you express it in words.

“Silence is a source of great strength.”—Lao Tzu