Head Above Water

From the moment I first saw her, I never knew how much she'd have an impact on my life after everything I had been through. I had come so far away from the west coast of LA to east coast of South Carolina to escape from the toxic family I had grown up with. I never thought after being in college for 5 years this is what it truly feels like to start over again with no one even knowing who you are.

I pretty much kept to myself and had a few friends by my side but, I never got a chance to spend a whole lot of time with them. When the fact is I was always so head deep into my work and studies with wanting to become a biologist. I just wanted to prove to my family that this is my life and that for once they need to see I need to make my own decisions. I never went home for holidays or summer vacation because, I couldn’t bare to deal with their negativity and with them most likely going to say I should quit school and come work in the family corporate office. I felt empty sometimes like this is what its like to also not have a family anymore. It was my last year and as a super senior this year was going to end up being super lonely with all my buddies.

That was until she walked in the classroom, and she sat next to me. At first, she didn’t acknowledge me, but I guess its because this was probably her first day, and I had never seen her before on campus. The first thing that caught my eye was her necklace, it was beautiful it was a teardrop cut larimar and it had a silver cut rose at the top of it. She even had a blue rose phone case and a blue rose decorated cup. I was fascinated by her slight obsession with blue roses, and I figured this may or may not be a good conversation starter. I know a few things about different colored roses because I am wanting to be a biologist after all. I then said, “I see you have an obsession with blue roses are you mysterious or do you like them because they are unique and since they are one of the hardest flowers and plants to grow”. In my mind I was slapping my forehead like man that was a stupid thing to say. I was thinking that she wasn’t going to talk to me at all but then she turned her head toward me. Instantly her eyes were locked on mine and mine were locked on hers. It was like we had already met before, and it was so strange it was as if it’s the first time someone has truly seen me. She then goes “Aren’t flowers and plants the same thing?” That’s when I tell her “No, they actually aren’t. Flowers are generally not the same as plants because they are reproductive part of the plant. Which means that most flowers are considered plants not all plants are flowers.” She then goes “wow I just learned something new in the first few minutes of being here from a brilliant guy.” That really surprised me a lot here is a lovely woman, and I thought she was going to diss me right away but here she is. She is acknowledging my intelligence, and I have yet to have someone recognize what I do besides the professors. I then asked her name and she said, “my name is Rose and I promise it has nothing to do with my obsession with roses.” She then asked my name I told her “my name is Robert”. That was when the professor shushed us because class was getting ready to begin.

After that we became pretty good friends. We studied together, went and hung out at the bars like most college kids do, and she even helped me with a lot of my research. I swear in the short amount of time I’ve known her she is kind and generous to a fault. But I can’t help but feel like she has been through something because there were a few times when we went out to the beach she would just stare out into the ocean. Not like someone that’s just enjoying a day at the beach by watching the water but, she had a look on her face that she was in pain. I wasn’t going to pry her out of her personal life I decided to just wait for her to tell me. Even though I saw just a glimpse of her small bits of sadness, for the most part I she was always happy, full of life and with a strong sense of freedom and adventure. But I swear ever since I've been hanging around her it’s like my negative life I grew up with has become a forgotten memory, and truly for the first time in my whole life I was wondering if this is what happiness feels like. I didn’t realize that until the day I was rescued by her.

Rose and I had gone out on one of the schools’ boats to an island that the university owned for research purposes. Rose decided to stay and explore the beach while I stayed close to shore on the boat. I had spotted a few fish species just below the surface of the boat and I decided to grab the cast net to bring them up to study them. That’s when trouble happened. I don’t even know it happened, but I was holding onto the rope, in a split second I got yanked off the boat and dragged underwater which I assume a large fish had grabbed it. I blacked out and the next thing I know I was back in the boat struggling to catch my breath as sea water had exited through my mouth. The first thing I see is Rose by my side she had saved me from drowning. This was the most self-less act anyone has ever done for me. As I started to come to more, I thanked her for that, and I remember she held me her arms saying how she was glad I was okay. I knew right then and there in that moment was the first time I realized that I loved her, and I wondered if she even felt the same way about me.

A few months later that was the last time I would see her for a while as I headed off to graduate school. But before we parted ways, she gave me her larimar bracelet and she explained that it means “wisdom of the sea” and it help you achieve your dreams. While I hadn't seen her during the years apart, I realized that I should've told her how I felt. Now I'm accomplishing my dreams of being in the science community. I admit I was so unsure of myself if I was going to make it at all. But with knowing Rose in the short amount of time had given me hope and to finally embrace on having a happy life a life that I am forever grateful for.

7 years later I run into her in an unexpected place for work and I was shocked to see her after all these years, despite the circumstances that brought her here too. Reconnecting with her, we pretty much picked up right where we left off. In the evening after spending the whole day together she looked like she had a lot on her mind, and she said she had a confession. She had said that when she was 8 years old her mother had died shortly after her 8th birthday, and on her 8th birthday her mother had given her a blue rose. She explained that her mom had said that “I want you to have this blue rose to remember how beautiful and kind you are and to always be resilient and with achieving the impossible”. She told me that every time when she misses her mom she always looked to the water and the sea because, it was a special place where they had the happiest memories. She even said that in the last 2 years she lost her older brother and her uncle who raised her after mom died and he had become her father figure. The last 2 years she has been struggling to get back to where she used to be, and she doesn’t know how to live without them but she said she wants to try even. I now realized that she helped me with my own personal issues now I need to her. I guess in the end we both saved each other, and we both need to always remeber to keep our heads above water.