anxiety

A look at anxiety in its many forms and manifestations; what is the nature of this specific pattern of extreme fear and worry?

Really Alone
Have you ever been alone? Not just by yourself or single. I mean really alone. Like the type of alone where you are surrounded by people and at the same time you’re scared and in your own head to the point you can’t even hold a conversation without saying something so ridiculous you walk away feeling like the biggest idiot thinking, “why did I say that?" I said that because my brain was thinking about 10 different things at once and I didn’t have the time to stop and think about the conversation being had. My mouth just shot out the first thing that came to mind. At that moment I was thinking about the perfect girl I saw at the mall last week and how if I looked like that maybe that boy would love me or maybe this person would respect me or maybe I would get that job. I was thinking about what I said the night before to that friend that she answered but not in the way I thought she would so now I don’t know if it was taken the wrong way. I was thinking about that boy I’m madly in love with but can’t manage to 100% let people in without lashing out because of deep insecurities I want to fix. And I’m also thinking about how I need to go to the gym but a Big Mac would make me feel a lot better right about now. My mind is never silent, never quiet, never calm. It’s constantly racing, wondering why that person just looked at me like that. And it causes me to think about it for the next 2 hours and get defensive in my own head because they don’t understand, they never will. The truth is, how can they understand? How can I expect anyone to understand what I cannot even begin to understand myself? I can’t, it’s not fair. And here I am, back to feeling like a terrible person. But why should I feel bad about something I’m struggling with trying to fix? I shouldn’t. I want to be happy; I want to be normal. Either one would suffice. It’s like there is a wire electric fence 10 feet high in front of me and I can catch a glimpse of who I used to be, who I want to be. I don’t know how I ended up on this dark side of the fence... I just want to figure out how to get back over, because it’s almost like I start to find a way to climb it and it starts to feel good, like I’m close; I hit a wire and it burns me and I fall back down. I have to start all over, only this time, every time I fall and get burned, people start to see just how damaged I really am. That scares me even more. I want to be happy, I want to be normal. I need to first figure out what caused me to wake up on this side of the fence. Maybe just maybe once I figure out what the underlying problems are; just maybe I’ll be able to break the fence down instead of trying to avoid it. That’s the hard part though, isn’t it? Figuring out what really screwed us up so bad? Which problem, which heartbreak, which comment really did hurt you this bad? After you’ve trained yourself for so long to not let it get to you. Which knife was it that struck through the armour? First I have to find that knife. It’ll take some time, I know it will. But one day, eventually.. I’ll make it to the other side of the fence.
By MCKP8 years ago in Psyche
Middle of the Night Anxiety
It 00:47 on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning and after the busiest and soul destroying day at a job I hate I have found myself lying in bed scrolling the endless threads on Facebook, Instagram, News Feed, and Tinder profiles in the hope my precarious mind will finally go to sleep.... Safe to say this will not happen.
By Siobhan Cha Cha8 years ago in Psyche
No Bright Side with Anxiety?
What is anxiety? Anxiety is a feeling. A feeling that can drive a person mad. A thought that can convince someone it's true and a thought that will rest in the back of your head and come out when you're not ready. It's also deep in your gut that can make you feel nauseous and even physically sick. You'll feel terrified and your brain will be completely overwhelmed. You can feel your stomach churn and your brain pulse, it can feel like it's being crushed. Anxiety will make you over think every little detail and situation. Anxiety is a thought, mutated in your brain, and it'll convince you something is wrong. Something terrible can happen or even will happen. That maybe you caused this problem or mistake, and you'll wonder but how can you fix it. And you can. By seeking help. Bluntly. That's the truth. I hadn't, and there's been many times in my life I needed help, but didn't. Anxiety isn't just fear. It's so much more than a feeling. When it's happening, everything feels very real. Your fear will be the truth. And your thoughts will rule you.
By Danny Flow8 years ago in Psyche
Mom's Anxiety
Struggling with a high functioning anxiety disorder causes individuals to change their routines, how they handle social situations, and influences the patterns people make for themselves — Everything from timing when they go to the grocery store to avoid the crowds to what social gatherings to attend. Everyone has their coping strategies, some that work and some that make their anxiety worse. (Great article here about some unusual ways anxiety can affect behavior).
By Ember Phoenix8 years ago in Psyche
Me
I’m Hannah. I think I’m pretty boring but I don’t know what else to write about. Let’s start from the beginning. I was born two months early and weighed 3.5 pounds. Luckily, there was nothing really wrong with me. I was my parents’ first child. My only brother was born a year later. I don’t really remember anything from my first few years.
By Hannah Wantsfood8 years ago in Psyche
You Have Anxiety? Fuck You, You Anxious Wimp
I suffer from anxiety. I guess you could tell that from the title. It's a disease that is not acceptable, you see, I'm supposed to control myself, and act like a polite adult at all times. Those are my choices. It even takes doctors a period of time to say, "Hey chew that clonopin," yeah, Doc, I really need it because you see I feel like I could fucking really choke someone right now, but instead, I'll chew this pill... for your sake.
By Kimm Smith8 years ago in Psyche
Anxiety is Real
"You're just stressed out!" "Relax and calm down, you're just scared." "Anxiety is just a fancy word for nervousness." "It's all in your head!"
By Allison Whitlow8 years ago in Psyche
Mind Your Mind
Have you ever been writing with a pen, and suddenly made an indelible mistake? Or suddenly dropped something you were holding in your hand, never to be retrieved again due to getting lost in the grass, or broken into dozens of pieces?
By Sebastian Peter, Jr.8 years ago in Psyche
The Day I Had My First Anxiety Attack
Anxiety attacks are no laughing matter especially when they are caused by high volumes of stress. I never thought I would ever experience this but one day it hit me so hard that I literally thought that I was going to die. It all started about eight years ago, when I was working as a marketing associate for a health insurance company. The job wasn’t too hard but the hours seemed long and tedious when you wore a headset and was hooked to an auto-dialer cold calling senior citizens to persuade them in changing or adding a Medicare Advantage plan to their current insurance policy.
By Kathy Lester8 years ago in Psyche
Anxiety's Secret Self Defence Mechanism
You've taken the meds. You've done the therapy. You've even tried your friend Jane's suggestion of "just don't worry about it" and somehow that didn't stop your worrying, either.
By Chris Worfolk8 years ago in Psyche
A Part of My Story
It happens from time to time. This tightness in my chest. The feeling that I can't catch my breath. The racing thoughts that do not stop no matter what I do. The feeling that I am not really here but I know that I am here. The fear that if I go to sleep, I won't wake up in the morning. The desire to go out in public, but if I do, there is that fear that something is going to happen. The fear that everyone around you is talking badly about you & the feeling that no one likes you. It's all in my head. I've heard that phrase for so many years from so many different people. I've been through therapy more times than I can count. The moment I get reprimanded or someone points out that I am doing something wrong, I dwell on it. I lose sleep over it. I don't stop crying about it. I try to change myself and the way I approach something so it doesn't happen again. I obsess over the fact that I need to change and I do everything possible to change. I shut myself off from everyone around me. I stop talking. I put up a wall and stop letting people in because I do not want to be an annoyance in someone's life.
By Hills A8 years ago in Psyche
You're Not Breathing Right
“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
By Michaela Holbrook8 years ago in Psyche