Bashing the bishop

You might think that the most important elections around the world have already taken place. Not only has former President (number 45) Donald Trump been elected 47th President of the United States of America but, earlier in the year, UK voters ushered in a new majority Labour Government, to replace the many new Conservative governments that had appointed themselves since the previous general election. In the UK we do not elect our heads of state, or our heads of government. The anointed, hereditary monarch (currently King Charles III) is Head of State of the UK and his other dominions. The Prime Minister, who heads the elected executive branch of government, is appointed by the King on the basis of majority support in the UK Parliament's House of Commons. Us poor bloody Brits only get to vote for our local member of Parliament (MP) who will sit in the Commons as our representative. Confused? Not as much as you will be if you continue to read this article. You have been warned.

Apart from the occasional minority and coalition government, the United Kingdom has, since 1915, been governed either by the Conservative Party or the Labour Party. The inclusion of the terms 'conservative' and 'labour' in the party names should not be taken to mean the same things as 'conservative' and 'labor' in US politics.

So what is this new election? No, not the rerun of the UK General Election that American Billionaire (and dancing master to the next American President) Elon Musk and his millions of Twitter (now formally known as "EX") chums around the globe have promised.

That is not going to happen just because of a couple of million tweets in the tweetosphere. No, the new election is for the role of Archbishop of Canterbury. When incumbent – His Grace The Most Rev. and the Rt Hon. the Lord Archbishop of Canterbury GCVO, Justin Portal Welby – announced his resignation on 12 November 12 2024, he sparked a race for the new English church's top-dog position. The resignation followed criticism of the Church's handling of allegations of sexual abuse.

Why is the appointment of a bishop to a tiny tourist town in the unfashionable, south-eastern corner of England so important?

The Archbishop of Canterbury is the head of the Church of England. Well, actually, no he isn't. That role falls to our sovereign lord, Charles Rex. The reason is historical. When, in 1527, Pope Clement VII was asked by King Henry VIII for a divorce from his Queen, Catherine of Aragon, the Pope refused. One reason the Pope refused was because his boss (not the heavenly one but the Earthly Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, who had taken control of Rome) was Catherine's nephew. Henry VIII therefore broke with Rome and declared himself the supreme head of the Church in England. A position that the present King retains. Ironically, if you take a look at a British coin, you will see the inscription "Fid. Def." or "F.D." on the side. This is short for "Fidei Defensor" which means Defender of the Faith. Defender of the Roman Catholic Faith. Another hereditary title of British Monarchs that was bestowed on Henry VIII by the Pope as a reward for the King's defence of Catholicism in the face of criticism by founding Protestant Martin Luther. This, of course, before Henry showed the then Pope the English archer's two fingers.

Surely you must be confused by now?

So, the King is the Head of State and the Head of the Church of England. It is therefore his decision who to replace as spiritual head of the church. But of course, being a constitutional monarch, he will only decide on the 'advice' of his most important adviser, the Prime Minister. As it happens, the current Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, is an atheist. Although most Prime Ministers turn out to be Anglicans (members of the 'establishment' Church of England) there are exceptions. Starmer's Conservative predecessor Rishi Sunak (2022-2024) is a Hindu. Margaret Thatcher (1990-1997) was a Methodist and Gordon Brown (2007-2010) was a member of the Church of Scotland, which has a presbyterian system of earthly government and therefore has no head, titular or otherwise.

All of this is mostly irrelevant because, of course, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom generally has insufficient grounding in matters of church politics to have the wherewithal to nominate a successor to any vacancy in the Archbishopric of Canterbury. So where does the UK Prime Minister go in order to seek advice (or pretty much a decision) on who to appoint as the new Archbishop of Canterbury.

At this point it may be worth stating (at the risk of adding further confusion) that the Archbishop of Canterbury is also the head of the worldwide 'Anglican Communion' which has a 'shared heritage' with the English Church, and which is mostly present in former colonies of the dreaded British Empire (I will be writing further on this subject in due course).

To conclude this issue of the appointment of a new Archbishop of Canterbury, the decision will inevitably fall to a committee. As the Church's website states: "The responsibility for choosing the next Archbishop of Canterbury rests with the Crown Nominations Commission (CNC)." Once this responsibility is discharged, the Prime Minister will advise His Majesty The King to make the choice official.

Back to the question of "Bashing the Bishop"... If you are not familiar with this phrase I am not going to explain it to you. You know how to use search engines and so-called 'artificial intelligence', yes?

I can only apologise on behalf of the British people if, being a person outside of this 'sceptred isle', your media give undue coverage to this restrictive election of a very, very important person.

The featured image above is from the satirical magazine Private Eye. You might recognise one or two of the spoof candidates for the non election of Archbishop. If not, don't let it worry you, it is only a spoof.

Thanks for reading this completely irrelevant article.

Your Church correspondent