TACO & PACO
Operations Chicken Out
On June 1, 2025 Ukraine conducted a massive drone attack on strategic bomber airfields deep in Russia. So deep the drones had to be delivered in secret double ceiling containers by long-haul trucks. The operation had been planned for 1.5 years in complete secrecy and had been personally supervised by President Zelenskyy. The drone attack was incredibly successful as Ukraine claims it has destroyed 41 bombers, or roughly one-third of Russian strategic bomber fleet. Russia has downplayed the operation results claiming that only five bombers had been destroyed.
As President Zelenskyy, Minister of Defense Rustem Umerov, Head of the Security Service Vasyl Maliuk, Commander-in-Chief Oleksandr Syrskyi, and Intelligence Chief Kyrylo Budanov watched the operation live on multiple screens in the presidential bunker, they were particularly amused by the Russian military officers on the bases under attack in Siberia live-streaming the drone destroyers with the commentary full of disbelief and obscenities.
"I guess this is the modern war for you," President Zelenskyy said, "We send them the killer drones and they live-stream their amazing work, for the whole world to see."
Everyone laughed, unable to peel their eyes off the screens. The operation looked like a video game, except that it wasn't a game at all.
"Make sure that the truck drivers get out of there safely," Zelenskyy said.
"They already did," Maliuk responded, "safe and sound, heading home."
"How come Russians are reporting that one has been arrested and is under interrogation now?" Zelenskyy asked.
"You know Russians, they will lie through their teeth to downplay the operation and overplay their successful investigation. Next thing they'll say is that only five bombers have been destroyed and that all the 'terrorists' have been arrested," Budanov chimed in. "It's all a psyop for them."
A red light on Zelenskyy's secure line came on, and he said, "I have to take this, guys, be quiet. Not a word."
Everyone nodded. Budanov scribbled on a piece of paper, "TACO?"
Zelenskyy nodded, trying to contain his laughter. Picking up the phone, he said cheerfully, "Good day, President Trump!"
"Is it really good, Volo...?" Trump stumbled over Zelenskyy's name again.
"It's really good for Ukraine, Mr. President. We have crippled Russian capacity to bomb our cities, targeting civilians."
"Really? I thought Russia only bombed your military targets," Trump said grumpily.
"Someone is giving you bad intel, President Trump."
"Hmm, I don't know about that. I really don't know. I thought this was legit. Speaking of intel, why didn't you share the details of this operation with me? After all, I'm footing your war bill?"
"With all due respect, President Trump, we have our own capacity to build the drones now. In modern warfare, this is a priority. We can't rely on anyone else in this."
"Really? And who's paying for you to build this capacity?"
"The money comes from different sources, Mr.President, including our own and European. I can assure you that the American military aid is always used the way it is supposed to be used."
"Really? I doubt that. In any case, why didn't you tell me about this attack? Aren't you supposed to share intelligence with us?"
"With all due respect again, Mr.President, you stopped sharing intelligence with us months ago. This operation has been years in the making..."
"Years???"
"Well, months to be more exact. Only our top commanders knew about it, to make sure it was successful."
"And was it successful?" Trump asked, seething.
"Certainly for us. Especially right before the negotiations tomorrow. Do we have the cards now to strengthen our negotiating position? I was really concerned when you said I have no cards, Mr.President."
"You know what, Volo...?" hangs up abruptly and adds to the air, "fuck you!"
Zelenskyy, looking at the receiver, smiling, "What did I do?"
"Do you think he is calling his friend PACO right now?" Budanov asked.
"PACO?" Zelenskyy asked.
"Well, yeah. TACO is Trump Always Chickens Out about tariffs and by analogy PACO is Putin Again Chickens Out about peace talks. Because I'm pretty sure after today's operation Putin will refuse to negotiate again," Budanov said.
"TACO calling PACO," Zelenskyy almost tasted his words, "I like it! I like it a lot. And yes, I think they are talking and that's why I'd never share intelligence with him. Three can play this game."
About the Creator
Lana V Lynx
Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist
@lanalynx.bsky.social
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This index is just for my subscribers. I finished and published this long story or short novella of 6,000 words recently. I tried to link all previous parts of the story in the next one, so if you went along you shouldn't have been lost. This index is just put everything in one place.
By Lana V LynxExclusive • 4 months ago
Balochistan on High Alert After Simultaneous Militant Attacks Leave 58 Dead
Balochistan has been placed on high alert following a wave of simultaneous militant attacks across multiple districts that resulted in the deaths of at least 58 militants after fierce clashes with security forces. The coordinated nature of the assaults has raised serious concerns about the evolving tactics of extremist groups and the ongoing security challenges facing Pakistan’s largest province. According to official sources, the attacks were launched almost at the same time in several locations, targeting security checkpoints, government facilities, and key transportation routes. The sudden outbreak of violence created panic among local communities, with residents reporting heavy gunfire and explosions lasting for hours. In response, security forces quickly sealed off affected areas and launched large-scale counterterrorism operations to neutralize the attackers and prevent further damage. Authorities stated that the militants attempted to overwhelm security positions through synchronized strikes, but their efforts were foiled due to the swift and coordinated response by law enforcement agencies. Ground troops, supported by aerial surveillance, engaged the attackers in intense skirmishes. Several militant hideouts were destroyed, and large quantities of weapons, ammunition, and explosives were recovered during search and clearance operations. A senior security official confirmed that at least 58 militants were killed in the clashes, while operations are still ongoing in remote and mountainous areas where some suspects managed to flee. “Our forces are conducting comprehensive clearance missions to ensure that no militant elements remain active. The situation is under control, but vigilance remains high,” the official said. Balochistan’s strategic location and rugged terrain have long made it vulnerable to militant and insurgent activity. The province shares borders with Afghanistan and Iran, and its vast, sparsely populated areas have often been exploited by extremist groups to establish bases and movement corridors. Analysts believe the latest attacks reflect an attempt by these groups to reassert their presence and challenge the state’s authority through high-impact operations. The provincial government strongly condemned the attacks, calling them an assault on peace and stability. In a statement, the Chief Minister praised the courage of security personnel and expressed solidarity with the families affected by the violence. “These cowardly acts will not weaken our resolve. We will continue our efforts to eradicate terrorism and restore lasting peace in Balochistan,” the statement read. Medical facilities across Quetta and nearby districts were placed on emergency alert to handle casualties. While most of the reported deaths were militants, several security personnel were injured in the line of duty and shifted to hospitals for treatment. Authorities have not disclosed the exact number of injured officers, citing security reasons and the ongoing nature of the operations. The federal government also took notice of the situation, convening high-level security meetings to assess the threat and coordinate intelligence-sharing among agencies. Officials emphasized the need for stronger surveillance and preventive measures to stop similar attacks in the future. “This incident highlights the importance of proactive intelligence and close coordination between federal and provincial institutions,” a spokesperson for the interior ministry said. For civilians, the violence caused temporary disruption to daily life. Markets in some districts were closed as a precaution, and traffic along major highways was restricted due to security checkpoints and roadblocks. Educational institutions in certain areas suspended classes, while residents were advised to avoid unnecessary travel. Many expressed fear over the return of large-scale violence after a period of relative calm in parts of the province. Security experts argue that while such operations are necessary to counter immediate threats, long-term peace in Balochistan requires addressing deeper social and economic issues. Lack of development, unemployment, and political grievances have often been cited as factors that contribute to instability. “Military action alone cannot resolve the conflict. Sustainable peace depends on investment in education, healthcare, and infrastructure, along with political dialogue,” said a security analyst based in Islamabad. Investigations are currently underway to determine the origins of the coordinated attacks and whether they were linked to cross-border movements or external support networks. Intelligence agencies are tracing communication and financial channels used by the militants to dismantle their networks and prevent future incidents. As security forces maintain a high state of alert and continue clearance operations, the situation in Balochistan remains tense but largely under control. Additional checkpoints have been established in sensitive areas, and patrols have been increased to ensure public safety. The coordinated nature of the attacks serves as a reminder of the persistent threat posed by militant groups and the need for constant vigilance. With at least 58 militants killed and several networks disrupted, the recent operation marks a significant blow to extremist activity in the province. However, authorities acknowledge that sustained efforts will be required to ensure lasting stability. The events underscore the fragile security environment in Balochistan and the importance of a comprehensive strategy combining security, intelligence, and development to prevent future violence and protect the lives of citizens.
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Comments (16)
Congratulations on top story!! 🎉🎉🎉I enjoyed it!!❤️
These names really are... Quite... Something. Even I stumbled, so imagine trump. Oh so that's what the title was speaking of. That's clever. The political commentary and conversations between those who were named, was entertaining and funny. Congratulations on your Top Story👌🏾
Fabulous! Congrats on top story - well deserved. I love those nicknames that people gave them because it’s true; as Trump says Putin is “tapping” him along. Because he’s so easy to do that to, he can’t outfox a former KGB officer.🤯
Enjoyed it!
This is good!
... and, with no surprise, congrats on the TS. Really good to read some decent political satire for a change and great antidote to all the madrant reporting
Missed these!! This was great 😆🤣 Congrats on your well-deserved top story! ✨💖🥳🎉🥳🎉🥳🎉
This is great Lana! I enjoy the perspective you share and insight of these conversation.
🇺🇦 🌻 Love it!
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Ha ha, brilliant. I hate to laugh about the tragedies of war but if you don't laugh... Brilliant piece of political drama. Always good to put power-mad leaders in their place. Thanks for sharing and for being so sharp in your wit.
Hahahahahahaha did you come up with these acronyms? They're brilliant!
I'm with Caroline. I always enjoy your forays into political situations. I like your satire and your projections of what had occured and the conversations that ensue.
TACO calling PACO. Just a shame that two such dangerous men wield so much power. This was fab Lana. Always enjoy/ appreciate your views on political events.
And these three seem to be playing games....Zelensky is doing a fine job of hanging in there. Hugs for the people of Ukraine.
TACO and PACO Hilarious. My brothers, sister and I toasted the bombing when it happened. The Ukrainian families who stayed with one of my brothers for a couple of years joined in. It was a good night.