Everyday Junglist
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About me. You know how everyone says to be a successful writer you should focus in one or two areas. I continue to prove them correct.
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Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush Maintain Dominant Position in City Public Pool Soda Vending Machines
Perennial also rans of the soda wars Orange Crush and Mellow Yellow somehow managed to remain the most popular offerings of city public pool vending machines despite continuing to see major reductions in every other sector of the soda vending industr. The two sodas also continue to remain at the bottom of almost all surveys of public opinion of soda brands flavor, appearance, and overall appeal. The continued dominance of this microniche by two sodas that have seen much better days has puzzled marketers and industry watchers alike. Soda analyst and author of “Cola wars, How Coke Beat the Stuffing Out of Pepsi and Left it Crying on the Side of the Road like a Little Bitch” Stephen Palmer said of the strange result. “I guess it just goes to show how out of touch city officials are with the tastes of the children and adolescents of the primarily low income families that make up the main users of city public pools. Also, of course many of the larger cities municipal public pool systems locked in multi decade vending machine contracts back in the late 80s when Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush were actually considered semi-respectable soda brands that some people actually liked to drink. Back then many people thought these two brands could be the next Coke and Pepsi. God, we were such idiots. How could we have been so blind?” Les Thompson, 35 year employee of the city of Cleveland and city pool manager for 20 years echoed those sentiments saying “Look we all know Mellow Yellow and Orange Crush are terrible soft drinks. They blow. They look and taste like garbage, but we simply have no choice. The contracts have us locked in until 2030 at the earliest. Sorry kids but water is always available for free out of the fountain by the restroom, when it’s working.”
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in 01
What is Detection?
In the modern food microbiology testing laboratory the word detection and the term detection method have very specific meanings. Both refer to the techniques used to determine the presence/absence of a particular microorganism or microorganisms (typically a pathogen or indicator microorganisms and almost always bacteria) in a given food sample. These presence/absence detection methods are referred to as qualitative detection assays. Quantitative assays are also used and are also (sometimes) referred to as detection methods. These methods allow for a determination of the presence/absence of a particular microorganism or microorganisms and also output an amount of the target microbe(s) present per unit volume/weight. Sometimes, though very rarely, are a qualitative and quantitative method for the same target used to test a given sample.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humans
Happy Oil Expropriation Day!
Author's preface: Apologies as I realize this is going to be published a bit late for oil expropriation day, but it could not be helped. The idea to write this story only occurred to me while in the midst of an OE day inspired haze and was quickly forgotten in my post OE day inspired laziness, but then remembered again on the Monday following OE day (today). Which shall forevemer more be known as post OE day Monday, the day of atonement. Apologies and thanks also to Wikipedia from whence I expropriated a good chunk of the history of oil expropriation day
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Wander
There is No Logical Requirement for Evil
Theologans and religious philosophers tie themselves up in knots over the existence of evil. The reason is simple, (almost) all religions posit the existence of a God or Gods which are good. Many times the God or Gods are the ultimate good or the source of all good and many times they are omnipotent and/or omniscient. It is easy to see the problem for those religions which posit a God that is good and all powerful and/or all knowing. Why would such a God permit, or if all powerful, be responsible for creating, evil? It is a fascinating question that can never be answered for many reasons. It is greatly complicated by the lack of agreement on the properties of God (all good or not, omnipotent/omniscient or not, one or many, etc.). It must be said that one thing all arguments for the existence of evil share, and it is a thing I think with which most people would agree, is the belief that evil does in fact exist. Certain things/people/acts are evil and we have a way of knowing what these are though exactly how that is to be known varies considerably from religion to religion and ethical system to ethical system. It is possible to argue that evil is an illusion or that there is no evil or that we can never know what is good or what is evil. The arguments for each of those positions are generally weak and few share thsoe beliefs so I will ignore them for purposes of the discussion below.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humans
Balance Should Not Be the Goal
The topic of balance came up in a recent conversation with a friend. She was relaying the results of one of those personality tests that claim they can classify your personality “type” based on certain behaviors, characteristics, and/or tendencies. There are hundreds but the vast majority are based on the Meyers-Briggs classification system which is itself an out-shoot of Karl Jung’s personality type theory. I have no intention of debating the merits of Jung’s theory in this post, like many theories in the social sciences, it has its proponents and detractors. Instead I will accept it as generally accurate and ask what that implies from a self improvement perspective.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humans
Satironical Meta Magical Realism
Narrator's preface: The writer who is the protagonist of the below story includes an author's preface in many of his written works. Generally these are full of psuedo intellectual clap trap that sounds intelligent at first blush, but upon closer inspection is actually nonsense. He was not available to provide an author's preface in this case telling me that he was busy "inventing a brand new genre of writing" which he had dubbed satironical meta magical realism. And there you have it, a perfect example of what I meant with that intelligent nonsense comment. Apparently he was doing this in order that he might produce a story he could enter in a writing contest for some two bit website nobody has ever heard of much less cares about. I told him good luck and offered to dream something up to cover his author's preface for this "story." His fan base which consists primarily of persons recently released from or soon to be committed to a mental institution, prisoners, hobos and homeless vagabounds get very agitated when he fails to include an author's preface in any given story he writes. Of course they also get agitated by anything anyone else considers normal. Ah well. Enjoy the below, or don't, it's no skin off my back either way.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
A Mexican Cobbler in San Diego Reads Me the Riot Act
"Never give them any money, never. If you do, you are part of the problem." These were the words that came out of the mouth of a visibly agitated cobbler in San Diego yesterday when I relayed to him the story of my recent encounter with corrupt Mexican police. A story I had published here only a few days ago.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Wander
Ancient Man Vs. Machine
Author's preface: In light of some recent hullaballo on this website related to AI created content I thought it would be nice to (slightly) update amd republish this imaginary debate written in the style of the ancient Greek Socrates and a modern AI on the subject of intelligence.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Humans
Three Word Time Capsule Haiku
Immeasurable Infinitesimally Incalculable Author's postscript: This haiku has now been not approved for publication twice. I have no idea why. I thought the word count minimum was suspended for the contest but if that is not the case thus the reason for this clearly unnesccesary additional postscript. I happen to very much like this particular haiku. There can be no shorter haiku than three words given the constraints of the format. It is no easy task to find three words that actually make sense for the topic and have the correct syllable count. Oh, well at 100 words now. Let me submit this again and see what happens.
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Poets
