Family
Taste the Rainbow š . Top Story - June 2022.
Daddy left me long before he died. I think he loved me, but life with me wasn't a cohesive fit. I think I loved him, too. He was the biggest, strongest, most handsome man I knew. When I was young, he would lift me high on his shoulders. From that vantage point, I was invincible. He'd never let any harm come my way on his watch. Maybe that's why the bad things didn't happen until he was gone.
By Syncere4 years ago in Confessions
A Man of Vision
One story about my father would not be enough. He has not been the same person, even in the short time that I have lived. Even before my time, my father was constantly evolving. So I will summarize the best I can, the story of my father's ambition.
By Melanie Banman4 years ago in Confessions
Pops and the Bio
Dads are No Joke is a tough challenge. Should I tell you the story of the man I call dad, or should I tell you the story of the man who walked away? I have opted to tell you a blend of both, to show my appreciation and understanding for both situations.
By Erin Cuellar4 years ago in Confessions
My Dad is My Hero
Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. I remember when I was little my sisters and I would race to the corner of the street and we would wait. What would we wait for? We would wait for my father to come home from a long day at work. Even though he would be tired from working all day, I always saw his face light up and he would pick us up one by one, we would offer to carry his bag and he loved every moment of it..at least that's what I tell myself. My dad was never the type to go golfing on the weekends, he would be fixing up the house or working on some outdoor project to make a beautiful yard. He built a patio, a pond and dug out his own garden, built his own sheds and let's not forget the Ikea furniture that we would assist him with. I liked going on road trips with him behind the wheel. He was almost a super hero being able to see when the night came out and he never hit a deer (at least to my knowledge) I could always sleep in the car knowing he was behind the wheel.
By Ada Zuba4 years ago in Confessions
Penny Candy Courage. Top Story - June 2022.
āCourage is just fear plus necessity and love.ā I still remember the day my father said those words to me. It was the fall of 1952, a year of firsts for many things. The microwave had just become available for people to buy. It was half the size of a refrigerator, and cost a small fortune but hey, progress right? Mr. Potato head was the new toy for kids, and the Chevrolet Corvette prototype was the new toy for grown men. Even though the Korean conflict was still ongoing, and America had just tested its first hydrogen bomb, all seemed right in the world to a nine year old boy sitting in his fatherās five and dime store.
By Brian Cochran4 years ago in Confessions
A letter to you
Dear Ma, For a long time, I was angry at you. Not just a, you said something I didn't like, angry or a, I wanted something and you said no angry. But a, you were never there angry. An empty, overwhelming void in the pit of my stomach angry where my abandonment issues developed. I remember one isntance where I was at Donnaās house, sitting up in bed, it was a bunk bed, I was on the top, crying for you and you were nowhere to be found. John, your husband at the time, Donnaās son and my father, or so i thought, was screaming at me to 'Shut the fuck up!". Which only made things worse. I remember him grabbing me ears and holding me against the wall, in trouble like always for reasons i couldn't fathom. Being sick to the point where both ends felt like they were throwing up, alone in the bathroom with only a baiting suit to wear. You both were there physically, asleep in the motel room we lived in. Youār bodies present but your minds were always elsewhere. I think I was 6.
By Samantha Madera4 years ago in Confessions
Breaking Generational Cycles
We can never choose who our parents are, or our siblings. In the youth of our lives, we are so ungrateful. I do not mean to keep forgiving toxic relatives. No, your mental health is very important. What I am saying is we can choose how we parent. If we had parents who maybe weren't the best parents. We have control over how often we see our siblings. I am preaching that if you came from nothing you still have the time to do anything. When I was a little girl I learned right away I did not want to be like my older brothers. I do not want to worry my mother I never did. I figured she was probably too busy worrying about the boys anyway. I learned a few do's and dont's from my mother. For example, I enjoy one glass of wine before bed, or even two if it's been a hard day. That is enough for me. From my father, I learned I do not want to be absent. I want to be a parent they can count on to be there. Life has not been a smooth ride for me. I did learn a lot though. I learned so much about my own strength and my own gusto to keep pushing forward regardless of what is ahead of me or not. It's just so vague everything I am saying. I know bear with me. If you are depressed or sad or even just young and lost right now. I wanted to tell you it's okay. I remember wishing so hard for a new family, for a mother who was there all the time. For brothers who loved and respected their little sister. I would wish until my eyes were so watery for a father that wanted his daughter. Then I became a mom. As a parent from the outside looking in it is so hard to navigate through life. Then on top of that to have to raise children. I feel so much empathy now for my folks, I didn't know they were just trying to do the best they could with what they had. I do admit maybe they could have done better but then who would I be today? As for my brothers, they could have been nicer to me. I guarantee though now more than anything if I called one of them up to say some guy felt me up at a bar, that guy would get a beating. When we are young everything seems like the end of the world. Especially if you're in your early twenties. That's the hardest you're just figuring out who you are, what you like what you don't like. It seems like everyone has an opinion of you and what you should be doing. I'm here to tell you to do what you would rather be doing because at the end of the day it's just you and yourself. When you do get older you start to notice your mom getting older too and you almost lose sight of what is important, our lives our families our moms. Life is hard it never gets easier but we can be kind to our parents and our siblings. Take what resonated with you, if nothing did at all. Learn this phrase and live by it. I promise it will save you a whole lot of stress and anxiety " it is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't ".
By Martisha Montemayor4 years ago in Confessions
Chapter Four
I say typical but itās not. I was at this point grown Iād already lived what seemed like 29 years of life or more maybe. I had been dragged through a living hell. I was a family disappointment many of them never met Blake and Iām glad. But they knew our trouble and it left me with losing many friends and family when I became pregnant. When I found out I truly couldnāt believe it. I knew for a fact my baby had been put in me for a reason and I found that reason to be why Iām still able to write my story today. The day I found out I was pregnant I was ready to end it all. But those prominent lines cleared my head and made me realize now was my time to find my purpose. I wasnāt going to college I graduated I was lost and now pregnant. I tried so hard to fix my relationship with Blake I got an apartment moved him in and that led to of course more damage. Cops were called several times due to his behavior and actions. We would get kicked out of restaurants family places anywhere if I even looked at a man or vise versus it was over and he had black eyes ready to kill. I was kicked out of my apartment. I moved in with my mom and tried to get a restraining order. This took a lot finally he attacked me in public and I was able to get a TRO (temporary restraining order) but silly me and emotional me didnāt wanna be alone. So yet again him leaving me with no family or friends I had nothing but him. Even together I was alone even together I was slowly dragging through flames. But I stayed ā for my sonā I went into labor December 20th. I got a rental house and while in labor he and my best friend moved us in and I thought. Maybe just maybe when our son makes his arrival it will all change. He will change. Boy was I wrong yet again. Fast forward to Christmas Eve Iām getting some really bad contractions so my mom and sister take me to the hospital while he is god knows where. 8 hours later they send me home around midnight being 3 cm dilated. 6 am of Christmas morning Iām not longer able the take the pain I beg my mom to take me to the hospital and she does 6:45 Iām now 9 cm dilated Canāt get ahold of Blake and Iām there with my mom sister and his parents I was cutting it for the epidural but I told those doctors without it there would be no baby. Thankfully I was able to get my epidural and I was relaxed and so ready to meet my baby boy. Blake showed up around 11:30 and I wanted to just wait and have an hour to be just myself for the last time. He proceeded to kick everyone out to be just him, I and the staff. After 3.5 hours at 3:08 my baby boy arrives. My world in my hands Iāve never felt a love so great even while the nurses are rearranging my guts and a doctor is stiching me up. The world stopped. I donāt remember much I passed out for a few minutes. Cps came in while Blake was gone and asked if I was okay and asked if I was safe. I lied. I failed. Blake left for damn near the whole time we were in the hospital because he wasnāt comfortable. Leaving me to be with his family as he wouldnāt allow mine. I stayed in the hospital for three days. Just wanting to go home. After his family and the staff not leaving us alone. But you guessed it. Itās never that easy I call Blake that weāre finally ready to leave and he rushed me to be faster and get out quicker because he doesnāt want to be there. So I get taken down to the car and what do I see, my gas tank I filled so it would be ready for baby boy to come home completely empty the car seat uninstalled and come to find out he drained my bank accounts and was at the casino and out with women while I was in the hospital. We get to our house to find expected visitors to him and not for me. His parents yet again and they decided to over welcome their stay. 3 days after my son was born he was arrested at a bar for assault and public intoxication and underage drinking. He threatened me that if I didnāt bail him out he would kill me and take my son. So I did which Iām still paying for. Fast forward he gets home and gets angry at me and kicks me right in my stiches. Right in front of his family I dropped crying and bleeding and they did nothing. My family wasnāt allowed in my home thanks to Blake and a week later he left to meet up with friends I packed my baby my dogs and as many belongings I could and left. I went to my moms feeling like a failure and scared of what he was going to do next. I finally started to tell my mom events that had happened. I tried so hard to keep him away but he would nonstop threaten me that heād break in while Iām sleeping and take my son. Now there was no custody order so legally I couldnāt keep his son from him. When my son turned 3 months old Blake asked me to meet him for lunch so he could see my son before āleaving out of town for a week for workā I took a friend with me knowing I couldnāt trust him. We met at Red Robin. He was rude and would follow my rules and threw a fit. Before we got our drinks I decided it was a bad idea we had met up and we went to leave. He followed us tried to rip my son from my arms as soon as we walked out. My friend and I stopped him and went to my car which he followed again. Only this time he shoved me into my car ripped my son from my arms I started screaming so people would notice, he ran to his truck opened the driver door tossed my son into the passenger seat mind you front seat no car seat three months old heās crying barely able to breathe from laying on his back in the seat and choking on his own spit. I got between him and the door getting kicked anywhere he can reach to try and take off but I wouldnāt let it. I caused a scene 15 people came running over standing in front of the truck blocking him in calling police who showed up quickly to only let him continue holding my son while heās still bawling. His mom shows up and takes my son from him and the police wonāt let me have him. Finally hours later they arrest him and I get my son back and another TRO. This time I knew. This was it I had to protect my son and not only myself. There was no excuse in the world that would allow me to ever be around him again.
By BOBBI JAMES4 years ago in Confessions
Chapter One
The beginning. Iām not sure when the beginning is because to be quite honest I donāt remember much of anything from my childhood. I am almost certain itās my trauma response to forget it all. I was brought into a world of chaos. This is very different for everyone but Iām here to share my story and maybe find myself and my true meaning. Make sense of everything thatās happened and why. This will be a rough and confusing ride but I hope it will in some way help someone else. So here we are youāve gotten this far and I hope you stay. Iāve never expressed everything Iāve gone through and honestly, so many have absolutely no idea even my closest people in my life. So if you or someone you know I hope this can help and I hope we all can learn and become our strongest best version of ourselves.
By BOBBI JAMES4 years ago in Confessions
