Family
Mothers Day Confession
HEY MOM, I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE BUT.. Remember the Saturday mornings back in 2004 when the golden sun poured through the kitchen window of the open plan kitchen, and you would yell at us if we made noise before 7am, so I learned how to make pancakes. By the time I was Eight, I was cooking pancakes for the Family at 8am every morning ALL BY MY SELF.
By Selena Brooks4 years ago in Confessions
I Forgive You
Dear Mom, I never had the chance to say I forgive you… My biggest secret is I forgive you for your misunderstanding of me. I was always a wild and free spirit dancing circles around you. Maybe as I grew up and lived my own life and had children of my own, just maybe you didn’t have the nerve to object to my free will. My free will spirit that would not conform to societies rules and norms. I forgive you for not knowing me for the beautiful and strong woman I am today. I forgive you for not taking the time and effort to know how I have changed and matured. I forgive you for assuming I was still that child dancing in circles. I forgive you for not realizing the pain you caused when you ghosted me those three long years ago. I forgive you for taking my child from me, not knowing how this brought me to my knees and for not knowing about the many nights I cried myself to sleep.
By Rachael Parnis4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mama
Dear mom, There are so many things I wish I could put into words just to let you know how much you mean to me. You’ve been there through it all, the good, the bad, the ups and down, every single stage of my life. My emo phase, my pop Princess phase, my teenage attitude crazy phase, my don’t talk to me phase, just to name a few. You were also there for me through my huge move to another state away from all my family and friends, my pregnancy, giving birth to my first baby girl, walking me down the aisle at my wedding, and every other huge life event I can think of. I look back at my teenage years and how I treated you and act like I knew everything. Damn, I really knew nothing. You were always so patient with me and handled me with such care. I remember going through a really difficult depressive phase in my life. All I wanted to do was drink and smoke weed and do drugs all the time with my friends. It’s the only thing that ever took the pain away from the resentment I had towards my dad and the stress of my relationship with him. It was my only escape from reality and everything going on in my head. I did something really stupid that I would never forgive myself for. Looking back at it I didn’t think it was a huge deal or meant anything, but now as a grown adult I’m like how dare I have done that. Me and my friends would scrounge up whatever we could for money just for the night to party and have fun. We went as far as taking things and pawning them just to get some money for our crazy shenanigans. I remember taking your “L” gold initial necklace that I believe my dad gifted you. I pawned it and never looked back. I never heard you talk about it or ask about it, but I still regret it til this day and feel like shit about it. I went back one day soon after to try and buy it back, but it was gone. It’s probably one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, but I hope you can forgive me. I would give you the world and definitely another L necklace. Love you mom, and I’m sorry! I hope I’m still your favorite.
By vetzabe rivera4 years ago in Confessions
IN HER IMAGE
Dear Mommy, I was sitting here looking at my reflection in the mirror, examining all of my facial features. But I can't see you. I see my absent father in my face. Yet I don't see you. I need to see you in me, but I just can't find you. And it has me thinking about something I did a few years ago. I think it's time I confessed something to you. I wanted to tell you months ago, but I didn't want to stress you. You were already dealing with so much, and I didn't want to lay anymore weight on your mind. I think it will be ok now since that weight has been lifted. I feel we are both in a better place, so this won't cause any harm to our relationship. Mommy, as you know, I have been battling depression for years. Because of this, I have really started analyzing my life. In doing so, I have realized that we have a lot of things in common. Although they are not very positive things, they do link us together. Some may call it generational curses. I believe you would also call it the same. The more I talked with you and heard about what you had been through in your life, the more I realized how many similarities we've shared. It wouldn't be an issue if it were positive things, but we share too many heartaches, tragedies and mistakes. I don't understand why this is. My sisters have great lives, but you and I have not lived a fairytale. I get so frustrated when I hear you complain about your husband. Then it dawned on me, your complaints about your marriage sounded similar to my own. When I confided in you about my weight loss struggles, you reminded me of your own struggle with your weight. When I confessed how I had no self-esteem, you let me know how you too sometimes felt insecure. I used to wonder why you never took me to therapy or a counselor after discovering I had been violated. Then I found out you were also violated, and your mother did nothing to help you either. So how could you have understood that I needed therapy? I couldn't understand why you almost always chose the most questionable and unattractive men to be with, daddy excluded of course. Especially when you are so beautiful. Then I realized I too have done the same. I'm always choosing the lowest valued men, because I felt unworthy of better. You and I both were once married to good men, but we self-sabotaged ourselves right out of those marriages. We both went on to then marry men who we should never have given a first look, let alone a second. I admit my marriage is not as toxic as yours, but neither of them is up to the levels that either of us desired in a marriage. You and I have battled addictions, mine being food and well you know what you have battled with. So, as you see, I couldn't find anything positive in our similarities. I felt like I may be too much like you, in a negative way. Perhaps because I am the eldest of your children, I inherited all of the bad traits and my sisters were left with the good. So, I felt all I could do was pray for a change. I prayed that the generational curses that link you and me would be broken. I prayed that I wouldn't continue to make the same mistakes as you have made. I prayed that God would destroy all the negative traits I have inherited from you and my biological father. I prayed that the generational links that carry the traits which I feel have prohibited me from being a better mother, wife and daughter would be broken. I prayed that I wouldn't travel down your same path. I know it sounds horrible. Maybe you think I am ashamed of you, but I am not. I said those prayers because I didn't want you to be ashamed of me. I didn't want to remind you of your errors in life. I already feel as though I am the reason you didn't get to pursue your dreams as a teen. So, I didn't want to be a constant reminder of all that was wrong in your life. I prayed to be better so I can make you proud. I prayed to be better so I can heal and live a life that is worthy of your smiles and praises. I feel that I have never been the daughter that made you happy. I have disappointed you so many times. And no gift that I gave you was good enough or big enough to make up for my transgressions against you. Couple that with the fact that I look so much like my biological father, which makes me a reminder of the abuse you suffered at his hands. I also never got a college degree or married a doctor like my middle sister. I was never an honor student or had the most beautiful daughter who is also an honor student like my baby sister. I am just the high school dropout who had two children out of wedlock, and they are too much like you and me. So, you see I had to pray. I had to try to break the curse. I wanted you to like me too. I wanted you also to be proud of me. I wanted to feel like the daughter you wanted, and not just the one you tolerated. I never knew that when I prayed that prayer, you would be gone in less than two years. I just wanted the negative generational links broken. I just wanted all the sadness and disappointment to disappear. I didn't want you to disappear, I still need you. I wanted to see you live the good life that you were robbed of. I needed you to see me get better. I wanted you to see me accomplish my dreams and make you proud. I'd hoped to finally feel that you and I can have a relationship built on love and not just biology. But it's too late now. I said that darn prayer, but I think maybe God misunderstood me. The bad links weren't broken, and yet you were still taken from us. We laid your body to rest about ten months ago. However, it's been one year since I took you to the doctor and discovered you had stage four lung cancer and only had weeks to live. I brought you home with me. My sisters and I took care of you together. I sometimes think you were only happy at my home, because my sisters came to stay with us. I know I wasn't your first choice of daughters you wanted to stay with, but I was the best choice for once in our life together. You lived for 63 days after your diagnosis. You transcended while in my home, surrounded by my two sisters, daddy and me. Yes, your ex-husband who was the one true love of your life was there. You were 63 years old, and I had 63 days to tell you all of this, but I didn't want to be the one who once again caused you stress and sorrow. So, I said nothing. You transcended and the only part of my prayer that has been answered is the negative generational link between you and I is no more. The funny thing is, with all that we have in common, I still don't look like you. However, I am like you. I don't mean just the negative parts. I'm referring to my creativity. Being creative is the biggest and best part of me, and I get that from you. I never really saw it before, but I see it now. You have always been so creative in everything you do, from cooking, to styling our hair as children and decorating your home. Even the way you landscaped your yard was so creative. Mommy, I was so focused on all of the negative, I never noticed that I see you all around me. I am always creating something, so I see you in my artwork, I see you in clothes I design and videos that I create. I see you in my poetry and the stories I have written. Every time I create something, I see you. How could I ever have prayed to not be like you? I thank God that you are my mom. Rest in Heaven mommy. I love you.
By L. McCrary 4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom
Dear Mom. I never told you this before, but it was me… it was me It is a memory that both haunts and encourages me, that reminded me you do not say things simply because they sound nice or because you feel they are the right things to say - like you had always said (and I promptly forgot) it is your job to lead us to the river, but it is up to us to decide if we should drink.
By sara4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom, I Am Sorry I Left
Dear Mom, I never got to tell you this, but I made a mistake many years ago. I wish I have told you this before I lost you. And to some point I did tell you about this secret of sorts, however, I did not express to you how much I regretted this mistake I made. So, what am I talking about? You already know. The mistake I most regret in my life, is when I left your house and went to stay with my dad. I hope you know why I left and went with him, and that it did not hurt you. I hope you know how much I regret going to stay with him. And for more reasons than what I originally knew. See, I did not want to go live with him, but I was afraid that if I did not stay with him, then I would lose my dad. I thought that when you divorced him, he would not be a father anymore. Because let us face the truth, he really was not a dad to Krista or me already. And there had been a time in my life that I felt like a had more of a relationship with him than Krista did. I was afraid to lose something that I did not have in the first place, and I was afraid after finding this out, you would not allow me to come back to live with you. I missed you, I hope you did know this, and I did not want to live somewhere where you were not, but at this time I did not realize that it would be okay not to have my father in my life. Now, I know that I made such an awful mistake and that I hurt myself more than he could have. I never wanted to hurt you. Now, that I have kids of my own, I understand even more how that could event, even though innocent to the young daughter, could be hurtful for the mother. I do not think I could deal with my own daughter leaving me and wanting to go and live with her father. I should have known, given the past when I had spent time with him when I could no longer stay at grandpa's house with you. I guess I just hoped he would have changed, but he had not. He never changed, even up until the day when he passed away, he still never changed and was the same father he always was, at least towards some of his kids.
By Amanda J Mollett4 years ago in Confessions
Secrets Revealed
Mother, I want to first apologize for my lack of communication. Your death broke me but your secrets lifted me up. The last 2 years of your life, we got closer than we had ever been. Every day, I awaited the ringing of the phone around 10 AM every morning. I cherished those talks. We talked about our own experiences, as girls, women, children, wives and mothers. I finally saw you as more than a mother. You became my best friend. I loved that time.
By Jimmie Lee Staley4 years ago in Confessions
Dear Mom, I must confess...
There's something that's been weighing on me. This challenge has let me know it's time to let it out. Since the day that I was born, I've been compared. I've compared to my twin, I've been compared to Dad, I've been compared to my brother, I've been compared to you. How do I explain, the deeply rooted hurt that lies beneath. The comparison to you, by me, to me-- it hurts.
By regina4 years ago in Confessions
mom, I know
Mom, I know I know we’re not technically the “I love you” family but as an adult myself it's getting harder to hold the words back. It's really hard to keep saying “God bless you” when I really want to say “I love you”. So I'm going to say it in this letter…
By ghost particle4 years ago in Confessions
I want to See You, Mom
Dear mom, I hope you are well without me. I don't want to bother you. So maybe I'm running to an unknown destination. Never been your favorite son. I didn't grow up the way you wanted me to. I'm a mobster. And no one loves the mobster. Even a mother does not love her mobster child. But I am not as bad as you think, Mom. Your son did not have such a bad character. I needed money.
By Mehedi Hasan Shawon4 years ago in Confessions
