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Kokushinsan: Shadow of the Mountain Prologue - Childhood
Below the sharp, snow-covered peaks, an ocean of golden barely bent and ripples traveled among the fields. A dusty veil helped make those labyrinths of rock, ice, and snow seem a distant world. Up in the thin air of the Himalayan mountains, work was tedious and the yield was difficult, but at times like these, it was a better life, even in the shadow of Kokushinsan.
By Christopher Michael2 years ago in Critique
The Black Parade
My Chemical Romance proved themselves more than just a faddish emo band, with this stunning, anthemic, philosophical and surprisingly uplifting concept album all about facing death. It covers the fear, grief and acceptance related to death, while offering hope that the memories of the dead will help them live on.
By Paul Stewart2 years ago in Critique
The Enchanted Telescope
Once upon a time in a quaint village nestled between rolling hills and dense forests, lived a young boy named Oliver. Oliver had always been intrigued by the stars, the moon, and the mysteries of the universe. Every night, he would lay on the grass in his backyard, gazing at the vast expanse of the sky with wonder in his eyes.
By Dot Stories2 years ago in Critique
Unmitigated Greed
Chapter 2 Frank was angry, and having no one person to direct his anger at, he turned it loose on everyone. The summer before his senior year of high school was a mixture of fights and uncontrolled drinking in the cantinas of Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. It was during one such night that he overheard two men talking about back-alley prize fights. He was still sober enough to ask where the fights were being held and how he could enter.
By Mark Gagnon2 years ago in Critique
A Man Called Ove. Runner-Up in Critique Challenge.
Old man. Grump. Bloody youngens these days. Society is doomed. This bloody cat again. Why can’t everyone just leave me alone? Can I just die in peace already? This food is pretty good. Cat’s alright too, I guess. Suppose I have to save the neighbourhood myself. Life ain’t so bad.
By Renessa Norton2 years ago in Critique
Draft: De-cluttering
*If you want to skip ahead to the part I want feedback on, scroll down to the header labeling the drafted poem below. Lately, I have been having trouble with endings. Starting poems or prose is the easy part. A line comes to me and often starts as a quick note in my phone. It's easy to run with it, but where do I stop and how?
By Kay Husnick2 years ago in Critique
ChronoShift
INT. DAVID'S DULL OFFICE - DAY A dimly lit office cluttered with stacks of books and papers. DAVID KNIGHT (30s, disheveled and disillusioned) sits at his desk, staring at a blank computer screen. He absentmindedly taps his pen against the desk, lost in his own thoughts.
By Lawrence Lease2 years ago in Critique
Constructive Criticism Makes You a Better Writer & Human Being
Egos aside, who doesn't love a five star review on their work. Depending on the context, such reviews can either be helpful, or they can rightly downgrading, depending on what was said in such reviews. Earning a Top Story award on Vocal Media (and appropriately enough; speaking of things being in fives rather than threes); it has been fifth time successful for yours truly in that regard. Moreover, I digress. Successful outcomes as a by-product of your writing work; from winning a Top Story award on Vocal Media, to achieving yet another payout on Stripe, and even gaining new subscribers out of the blue; would such milestones in producing such quality workmanship be the keys towards being open to some constructive criticism/feedback on your work the majority (if not all) of the time? Absolutely.
By Justine Crowley2 years ago in Critique
~Hercules Ring~ Additional story information! Free for people to critique!
~Hercules Ring~ *Background details of Hercules story and the information that changed his life forever and made him into the strong man and hero with a desire to be good and help others have good lives to live free of suffering or at least able to bare it! I'm looking for ideas, and suggestions on when and where to write in the details and information that is needed for the larger story to come together better and make sense as a whole! This is not an easy project to write so anyone with ideas or experience in exploring mythical history of such a nature (including Hercules history) are welcome to provide material or direction that will help improve the story and make it that much more better! And here is the link to the original submitted first chapter to my work. https://todaysurvey.today/fiction/hercules-ring I'm waiting for contest results before I can re-submit the whole body of new work to the new Chapters group!*
By Jennifer Cooley2 years ago in Critique
