grief

Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.

"Night Owl"
I never was one for sleep. That is I was never one for going to bed early. To my fathers perpetual dismay, I was a self proclaimed night owl. A fitting colloquialism since the average barn owl is a nocturnal predator. For the longest time I was proud of it, saying foolish things like, "I get my best work done at night." I made it a point to say things like that whenever I could, especially when Dad was within ear shot.
By Fabricating Fiction5 years ago in Families
Little Mouse
Little Mouse had had a very hard day. They were hungry and wet and cold, and they were sitting next to the very still body of their very good friend Littler Mouse. Littler Mouse had been very still for a very long time now. They had skittered much slower after they had been hurt by Angry Mouse. Their fur had got redder and redder as they skittered and skittered, and then when there was too much red there was no more skittering at all. Little Mouse very much enjoyed going on mouse-sized adventures with Littler Mouse but now they worried that there would be no more adventures, because Littler Mouse was not skittering anymore. Skittering was a very important part of adventures, because there were many things to skitter to and away from. Maybe if they had skittered away from Angry Mouse faster, Littler Mouse would not be so red, and they would still be skittering together now.
By Matt Batchelor5 years ago in Families
The owl of hope
I am sitting silently by the window, watching the sunset, feeling the leaves fall, and listening to the songs of sundown that the wind is whistling. My nerves have calmed since them gunshots earlier and my hand has finally stopped shakin. I never knew I would be the one to take care of such things. But life has plans for all of us. Thankfully the ringing in my ear has been gone for a couple of hours, and I am finally feeling more at peace. I was well aware that farm life is not easy and sacrifices must be made, but these feelings? Well I don’t remember signing up for those too. That done feels like too much, and life out here already ain’t easy.
By Helen Del toro5 years ago in Families
...It's the Thought that Counts
We’d been at the hospital all day. Dad’s dizzy spells had been diagnosed as 4 or 5 brain tumours (the doctors weren’t sure if one of the shadows on the scans was one large tumour or 2 smaller ones), inoperable. The “experimental” laser treatment had proven its exact predicted worth: “It won’t cure your father, but it may give him an extra couple of months”. That was 6 months prior, and those extra couple of months were well & truly up. We’d been told not to upset him at any cost as that could cause haemorrhaging on the brain and at worst/best instant death. And so began our journey of walking on eggshells, navigating his constant mood swings and his demanding of our time, patience and unconditional love. We’d tell ourselves that despite how unfair he may have been in any moment there’s always someone else worse off and we weren’t the ones having to face that “terminal” diagnosis.
By Joseph Murray5 years ago in Families
A sister's grief
My younger brother died unexpectedly on Mother’s Day 2020. My mom called me before I got to the hospital and told me he was gone but that I had to keep it together and stay strong for his wife. Mom wasn’t crying when she told me and her words didn’t sink in, despite having heard them clearly.
By Kayla Boyd 5 years ago in Families
Legacy
My Aunt Bea was resolute at my uncle’s funeral. Her black skirt suit pressed and showed no trace of lint with a lilac kerchief in every pocket. She didn’t wear any of the broaches my Uncle Bob had gotten her, nor did she go into the room for the wake. Instead she stayed with my brother and I, in the deep green sitting room downstairs, you could just see the white banister that lead to the viewing room from the couch we were all cuddled on.
By Audrey Larkin5 years ago in Families
Hollow Ashes
I didn’t mourn my father the day he was buried. I had too many feelings to sort and process before I could be sure of what I felt. What was I supposed to feel? Should I be sad I lost a father? Or should I be glad I was rid of my abuser? I was numb as I watched my Uncle Lee pierce the brown soil with his shovel over and over until the hole was deep enough and just wide enough for the box of ashes.
By Brandi Ashley 5 years ago in Families
Life After Fana
Her little grin let me know that she knew she wasn't supposed to run towards the bridge that led over the crick. Her little face was bright and full of joy, reddened by a day of hard play in the summer sun. She looked back at us, and with a mischievous giggle she took off towards the bridge.
By Aya The Human5 years ago in Families
When Time is Irrelevant
It seemed so cruel for him to die on such a beautiful blue day. My heart would have been more at ease had the clouds gathered in a fit of gray anger and roared out rain. I prayed, not for my grandfather to die in peace, but for a terrible storm. If veins of lightning ripped across the sky, I might have had something to distract me from knowing this was the last time I would lay mortal eyes on my grandfather.
By A.X.Partida5 years ago in Families
Start living to live
Most of us live our life like we are immortal, until something happens that shows us differently that is. The reality is none of us are immortal and we all are born to die. We all hope it’s when we are really really old and we just peacefully after a long great life lay down and don’t wake up. No pain, no worry , no nothing, just maybe the best possible way to leave this earth for everyone involved. I take comfort in hearing the stories where they begin with ” Mary was 100 years old, lived a long heathy happy life and had just went to sleep and never woke up”. I am sad because someone has died but my brain rationalizes that Mary wouldn’t have wanted it any other way, she was happy, she was at peace and she was ready to go. What I can’t handle is the sudden deaths, the unnecessary deaths..the car crashes, the heart attacks, the drop dead while eating lunch on your lunch break, the you have cancer and have 6 months to live deaths. I can’t , no matter how hard I try , no matter how old the person is I just can’t accept it. The person was there one minute talking to me or someone else and the next moment they are just gone. They cease to exist. I have been sheltered by death I think, I have not been to many funerals. And the one or two I have attended I sit there in complete shock that this person is just gone. And that now this person is just a picture, just a memory. That you can’t even breath cause it hurts too much knowing they aren’t breathing too, the moment of their death just replays over and over in your head like a broken record. You didn’t even have to be there to play the moment they took their last breath over and over. Your brain has filled all the missing moments in for you, exactly how it happened or not it’s the moment they died forever etched in your mind. I once knew a lady who was killed in an accident that ended up with her little car ramming right under a semi. I won’t get graphic with what exactly that scenario would do to a body but I am sure you can figure it out. I was not there , I only know the story of what happened and my brain has filled in the rest and it’s all I can think about when I remember this person, I can vividly see it all. It’s sad, this is many years later it’s still sad. It haunts you to the core and there is no getting over the mental image your head has drawn for you. Or my friend who will forever remain in my head as comfortably sitting at a table eating lunch, talking, laughing and then bam dead. I was not there but I vividly remember that entire moment when her life just stopped existing too. The moment when two young teenage girls lost their mom forever. I felt the loss everytime I walked past that restaurant or the store she worked at and still do after all these years when I hear of someone dying the same way.
By Crazieone5 years ago in Families
Texting My Deceased Brother
In July of 2017, my brother Eddie went to sleep and didn’t wake up. Before the fire broke out of the walls and engulfed his home, smoke inhalation kept him unconscious.
By Phil Rossi5 years ago in Families
Life Without My Son
I never imagined being pregnant with my first child would end like this. The feeling of your presence was well known even though I was in denial I knew the possibility of you. Found out I was pregnant with my baby boy when I was four months carried him for 8 months. His passing was so tragic to not know what was the real reason behind his death. I held my baby for a whole day after birth which I knew his spirits was with me when his little eyes and mouth open. No he didn’t make a sound but I felt him take his last breath. It’s been almost 3 years since his passing and it still feels like yesterday when I lost him. Trying to cope with it has been hard because nobody around me understand the hurt of losing a child that you was carrying, getting ready for and for it to all go away within a blink of an eye hurts. Everyday I try to make up an excuse on what could be the reason behind it all but I don’t have not one answer which hurts the most. I wasn’t fully ready to be someone mother but I knew the possibility of how a baby comes without protection but to know my son had peace and love around him brought me a little happiness. I got him cremated and everywhere I go I carry him around because I know his spirit be in my presence I could be tripping or it could be just a feeling. I know and met a lot of women who experience the same thing or similar things as me who I’ve talked to. Hearing multiple women stories and sharing mines helped me cope within myself as well. Losing a child whether u 5 weeks , 5 months or the baby 5 years old a lost is a lost. Depression still kicks in everyday but losing my mother have also taught me how to cope with a loss. Everyday it still hold a hole in my heart feels like my chest caving in like I’m losing my breath when it hit reality that I really lost my son. Knowing my baby could’ve been saved but they didn’t hurts more than anything. Felt like I didn’t fight harder enough to save him. Blame myself for a whole year for his death. Didn’t have nobody to talk to. Feeling suicidal. Wanna give everything up. I get it but I’m here to tell anyone who lost a child that you never alone someone always there to listen and understand the pain you feeling. Every year I celebrate his death date & his birthday which is a day apart crazy right but I just learn how to accept him being gone, live his name, hold his urn every night and pray with him. Some might still call it denial but I call it my way of healing. I’m only 21 years old how I pictured my pregnancy and how it happened two different directions I wasn’t expecting but overall I’m happy he chose me as his mother, gave me a chance to experience something I always wanted. A Family. I never grew up with a lot of love so I knew when I have my child I’ll have that love I was missing. I cherish our little moments in my heart forever that little piece is what helps me get through it everyday. This is just a beginning of my beautiful story. I love writing so expect a lot of stories from me I would love sharing. Writing is like a peace of mind to me hopefully my stories can help one of you.
By Sanquisha Paden5 years ago in Families