Humor
If Cake Could Talk
Do you know that feeling you get that is inexplicably perfect? It happens when the day is warm, the aroma of the wind surrounds you, you feel good throughout your whole body, and life just seems to make sense. Ah, yes, that feeling, I am now the perfect temperature for the display fridge. It is my time to shine!
By Tayla Stanford5 years ago in Fiction
Chocolate’s Surprise!
Black 22, the second Angel born to Odin and Queen Alazamda, wakes up in the upscale Village of Wrymwood, Jaguni. It’s mid-day and he’s buried underneath a cluster of sleeping women. After the Cat-eared Angel crawls form underneath the pyramid of naked bodies he looks back and smiles, “Ladies.” “Byeee Blaaaack!” They all say in sleepy unison. “Pants.” Black says holding out his hand. One of the women hands him his shorts and Black kisses her before getting his day started. As he’s walking down the hall Black summons toothpaste and a toothbrush then uses them telekinetically. When he’s done he spits into a portal as it’s summoned. “Finally, a day off. I’m not doing a single thing today!” Black yawns on his way unto the kitchen. He opens the fridge, and to his surprise, “Empty… Damn.” Black closes the fridge and sighs. “To the grocery store.” He groans. Black catches a look at himself in the mirror. “‘Ello sexy.” He chuckles to himself. Black runs his hands through his fur and then snaps his fingers to summon an assortment of rings, earrings, necklaces and bracelets onto himself. “Ah yeah.” Black grins. As soon as Black opens the door he steps out and walks straight into his elder brother, Emperor Scarlet 33. Black falls to the ground, shakes his head and looks up surprised. “No. No. No! Not today bruv. N-O.” Black says getting up and closing his front door. “I didn’t even say anything, yet.” Scarlet laughs “Nope. Not doin’it.” Black grunts pushing past his brother. Scarlet grabs Black’s arm and his hand is quickly swatted away. “Listen. I need a favor.” Scarlet asks and Black responds, asking “Why can’t Rosé do it?”
By Sloan Sabbath5 years ago in Fiction
Many Many Pieces of Chocolate Cake
Strands of Christmas lights hung eternally across Art Town. Christmas everyday-land guided the people of Art Town, lights illuminating their gifts, brightening their nightfall, and crisping their outdoor patios. It was important to believe in Christmas everyday-land, because it was better than believing in no-never-cake land.
By Gary Lougheed5 years ago in Fiction
Broccoli Is Good For You
Toodle was a remarkable boy. His teachers would always tell his mother how impressed they were by his brilliant study habits and quick wits when she came to pick him up from school every day. She would brag to the other parents of Toodle’s second grade class how her boy would come home from school and flip through the gauzy thin pages of the English dictionary until she had to pry him away for dinner. The other mothers would then marvel at what a perfect child she was raising, and she would respond with something like, “Oh, I know. Isn’t he just darling?”
By Keturah McQuade5 years ago in Fiction
M.C. Hammerhead
Imagine meeting the love of your life. He's perfect. He's charming. He has great eyes, strong hands and is as gentle and loving as he is kind and strong. That's my husband! Bruce . Did you know the name Bruce means “ Be like water.” Well, okay, he was named after Bruce Lee . And he's about as dreamy as Bruce Lee was. In the daytime that is. He works all day with his huge group of buddies, as a marine biologist . He is what you would call a social butterfly, with fins instead of wings. . Does not know a stranger. And works until evening. He comes home and we eat . Every day we have to keep a very structured schedule. We have to have an alibi. It is not always easy but I married him for better or for worse. He also works part time as an Emcee . Hosting parties, wedding, birthdays , MMA, and wrestling events. But they have to be events that don't require him to stay too late. See my husband is wonderful. But he has a flaw. He leaves teeth. Shark teeth. Because that is what he is. And the longer he is left in his hunter mindset, the more he progresses to his spirit animal, the Hammerhead Shark.
By Layla Nelson5 years ago in Fiction
Death By Chocolate
By Betsy Kelberlau Jenny was not very coordinated as a child, nor as she got older. When she was a freshman in high school, she went with some friends to a roller skating rink. Jenny was roller skating with one of her friend’s Mom. This was her first time roller skating and she was very shaky. The Mom kept saying, hold on to me. Don’t let go. Hold on. Well, Jenny didn’t listen to her. And she went down. She caught herself with her right wrist. Oh, goodness. Boy, did it hurt. Jenny’s friend’s Mom felt so badly. Jenny said, well, it’s not your fault. You were telling me to hold on. And I didn’t listen to you.
By Betsy Kelberlau 5 years ago in Fiction
The Queen of Cakes
It was many years back in the land of France. Queen Marie ruled with a heavy heart and the mind of a true narcissist. But she always had desired more, mostly the finest desserts that only the world’s greatest culinary minds could serve her. However, each of these heads were soon disconnected from the rest of their bodies as they had failed to please her royal highness. From the most delectable vanilla cookies to the most beautiful strawberry bowls of ice cream, all expensive, all gorgeous, but all failures in the queen’s mind. But the one dessert that nobody could afford to serve her, her prime desire, chocolate cake from the rarest and amazing cocoa beans on the planet.
By Nathan Miller5 years ago in Fiction
The Ladybug Lady
The year was 2003. Pirates of the Caribbean had just released into the theaters. Many women on the planet were falling in love with Johnny Depp. There was a lady who was the jealous type. She also loved Johnny Depp. That was very dangerous to love an actor and also be the jealous type.
By Amanda and Carrie Boyed5 years ago in Fiction
Piece of Cake
“You can bake, right?” Rick looked over the desk towards the Chief, who looked far more concerned than he normally did in briefings. Of course, briefings were normally talking about targets, and reasons that they needed to either be killed or stopped from being killed, rather than straying into topics like culinary efforts. Rick gave a smile, trying to be reassuring.
By Chris Cunliffe5 years ago in Fiction
