Guiltless Gift Guide

Am I the only one who thinks like this?

I hear so much about people saving for months upon months or even maxing out their credit cards in order to buy an often unnecessary Christmas gift. Now, before you pin me as a bit of a scrooge, I would like to state that I do enjoy giving gifts, but I do not believe that people should go into debt for the sake of a seasonal celebration. These overspending habits often lead to feelings of financial guilt. I have often suggested the total elimination of gift-giving altogether in order to set financial health as the priority.

In fact, there was a year that a young lady I was dating asked me what she could buy me for Christmas, and my response would go down in the history of fails forever. My, what I considered as a thoughtful and enlightened response, was, "don't worry about buying me a gift; use that money to pay down some of your bills." Deepening the hole even further, I explained to her how I heard her on countless occasions complain about her bills. I figured that her using that money toward her bills would serve both of us; she would get closer to being debt-free, and I would get closer to not having to hear her complain. Needless to say, that was a poor suggestion.

Don't make my mistake!

I had to reassess my view toward gift-giving. I delved deep into the spirit of the season and the reason for gift giving and combined my financial standpoints to create this effective and balanced way to buy gifts.

Make a budget

I think it is laughable that many people have new year resolutions that have to deal with improved finance, yet they end the year in debt because of gift-giving. By creating this budget, you will know how much you can afford to spend in order to keep that new year's resolution. Talk to those that you exchange gifts with and set a price limit. In this way, no one will feel guilty that the gift they gave was a $50 foot massager, and the gift they received was a $500 smart TV.

In the same sense of a budget, you and your group can do fun things like having a pollyanna or white elephant gift-giving party. These two themes allow that each person only needs to buy one gift and all under the set price. We did this at one of the schools I coached gymnastics, and I quite loved the tradition.

Plan ahead

Now that you have a budget start putting the money aside now. There is nothing worse than paying $150 for a $100 gift based on the interest charges to use your credit card. The excitement of the last-minute shopping rush may be right up your alley, but I find that it is stressful for the rest of us. Not only the traffic and run around with the rest of the procrastinators but the gift availability. The last thing you want to do is find that what you were thinking about buying is no longer in stock or the price has gone up.

Shop for the recipient, not for yourself

I have purchased things for my daughter that I thought she would like based on what I liked for her. Instead, I learned to watch my children and what they like. I remembered how often my daughter asked me to draw out dots on a paper in some shape so that she could trace the lines and discover the picture. Therefore, I bought her an activity book full of those. She absolutely loved it.

Find out what the person really wants.

Find out what the person really needs.

Figure out what the person is really into.

For example:

I run practically every day, and I am very picky with my running shoes and gear. Most people that started giving me gifts would actually give me gift certificates to sporting good stores. This way, not only have they given me something that I can and will use, but they were also thoughtful enough to ensure that I get what I will want for something that is very important to me.

If all else fails:

Personalize the gift but don't make it about you. I wrote a children's book and initially thought it would be a great gift to give my friends with new children. After further consideration, I decided against it. Instead, purchase a book with the child's name in it.

Shop without expectation

I am what some would call a bad gift receiver. I don't get overly excited about much that is given to me. It took my children giving me gifts for me to learn how to act excited to please them. On the other hand, they do not pretend to be excited if they are not. Nor do I expect them to be excited, although I am delighted when they are. Many people will get upset and regret making a purchase for a person based on their lack of enthusiasm. Instead, take joy in the fact that you are able to give, have someone to give something to, and have an opportunity to give something to someone that may put a smile on their face but don't expect it. They may have had a bad day or been in need or want of something different.

Have fun

At the end of the day, gift-giving is supposed to be a thing that brings joy to those involved. If you have set a budget, planned ahead, and picked a special gift for that person, all that is left to do is enjoy a guiltless gift exchange.