advice
Dating, married, single, divorced, and more. Advice on the relationships you have in life. Dear, Humans..
The Hidden Side of Society...
I have been called many things, squeezed into the minuscule gaps of each letter of my name like each resembled a bottomless chasm in which seemingly meaningless words could hide. Most say that I am just a 'teenager' who has not yet lived long enough to experience life, few speak as though I am just another blip on the radar that is society. Those rare, selected handful of people call me an inspiration and yet, I am alone. Yes, I am surrounded by friends and family...But at the same time, I am alone in terms of what I think. Of my opinions, views, social status which should mean nothing when in reality it means the difference between gaining something in life and losing it. You see, life is a concept. A concept in which the size of your clothes, the colour of your skin or your sexual orientation are like boulders blocking the path to acceptance and held in place by the people who do not agree with you. Not your thoughts or opinions. You. Because I have often come across people who judge a person by their looks and if that is acceptable in their book then they go on to judge the next part of who you are as if it is merely a talent show in which you can never win.
By Amber Dodd9 years ago in Humans
The Struggles Of Getting Over A Broken Heart
It's been over three months when I learned about my husband's infidelity, which at that time, it had happened six months prior. My world flipped upside down. The worst part? She messaged me through a fake name on Facebook.
By Erica Lindsey9 years ago in Humans
Defiled
Waking up in the middle of the night. Every day I feel this fright. The nightmare I relive each night. Once was enough seeing his face. I feel distrust. Betrayal of the family I once knew. Nightmare every night I fear. Afraid to wake up the people that sleep beside me with my screams. All I see is the anxiety I feel. The air in my body tenses. I can't breathe. I take the pill that releases the fear. His smile haunts me. His touch makes me feel him. I can't be around him. My nightmare has been relived. Through everything in my body, I release the pressure of my nightmare. I relive this almost every night. This was the onset of my depression. I worked through this but I still feel as if it was my fault. I feel as I let it happen. I trusted him. He was family and he defiled my innocence. I covered my body, withdrew from everything I loved. I even self-medicated for the longest time. I tried to take my own life. I thought cutting myself would make everything better. It really didn’t, it just made things worse. I can’t even see his face anymore. I still think about it occasionally. I was only a teenager when it happened. I deal with not trusting men. I won’t even trust my own family. It hurts to speak about it. Hurts to think about it, but I had to move on. I had to let go. I had to make sure that I forgave them. That was the hardest part. It took me five years to forgive him. I can’t let what happened continue to ruin my life. It took me almost ten years to learn to love myself again. It took even longer for me to learn to love again. I am now in a very loving relationship. So, as I look back on it I asked myself questions. Why as survivors can we not talk about being raped. Years go by and a woman still won’t speak of it. They go unreported. They fear the attackers. Living in fear of it happening again, protecting the heart. The hardest part people don’t realize about a survivor is the ability to learn to trust again. Once we learn to trust again, we put all trust in that person. Losing trust takes years to gain back. Another hard thing a survivor must do is learn how to love. It may be of the most dangerous thing we do as survivors. We tread super lightly. It will always take more time but we can love. No matter how much therapy we get we will never be fixed. We can talk until we feel everything is better, but in the back of our mind it’s always there. It always haunts us. Keeps us from loving fully. Our hearts stay protected. There are walls put up. Guards put into place to make sure we never get hurt again. So, asking a survivor to put trust in you or to love you is a tough task. We hide our feelings, and make sure everyone thinks we are okay. But in all reality on the inside we are crumbling, screaming, or just wanting to be held. It takes time, patience, and the ability to want to help. Survivors still need a support system. I do want to tell any survivors of rape that it was not your fault. Things will get a lot better. Nothing will begin to feel the same until you forgive the person who defiled you. You are wanted.
By Danyelle Lewinson9 years ago in Humans
Love After Baby If You Are Single
How do you feel? You must be tired, cranky, covered in baby puke and other things. Those things don't help a relationship, but they are perfectly normal. So if you are single already or want out of your relationship, here are the things you should know and what people probably won't tell you.
By Holly colman9 years ago in Humans
First Date Deal Breakers
The screening process to make it towards a first date can be hard enough. So, why make the screening process for the second date just as difficult? There are plenty of first date deal breakers and reasons behind them. If you catch yourself in any of these situations, you should reconsider going out for that second dinner and movie.
By Samantha Steiner9 years ago in Humans
Instagram Can Have You Insta-Divorced!
By now, almost all of us are plugged into social media in some form or fashion. It’s a great way to not only stay connected to distant family and friends, but it’s also an excellent way to communicate with interesting people we’ve never met. Awesome sauce! Right? Well presumably so, yes. But in a marriage, too much Facebook and not enough face time (no not the app) can be detrimental. More and more, I’m hearing rumblings of social media going awry in married life. But how is this possible? How can an app on my phone or a non-pornographic website cause so much turmoil on the home front? Well, if you’ve ever heard that too much of anything is not good, even if it’s supposed to be a good thing, then you’re beginning to get an idea of where I’m going with this.
By Corey Paschall9 years ago in Humans
Breakup Etiquette: Is There Ever a Good Way to Dump Someone or Get Dumped?
The reason so many men and women have a tough time getting over a breakup is due to the way it is handled. When someone blindsides their partner with an abrupt goodbye, it does not allow them to have proper closure or understand why they were left high and dry; often with a one-line text message!
By Susan McCord9 years ago in Humans
Stay Hitched or Ditch?
Marriage: Stay Hitched or Ditch On a seemingly ordinary Saturday afternoon, I sat on my front stoop for some much needed alone time, i.e. cigarette break. While bathing in the new fall breeze I found myself reflecting on the ups, downs, and turnarounds of my LTR. My other half and I had been recently and frequently engaged in periodic debates, some more pleasant than others, ranging from who gets to pay this month's utility bill to citing all 1,001 reasons why I think whole wheat pasta was manufactured solely for alien life forms born without taste buds. To dispel possible rumors and under the radar bar room mumbles I can and will shout from the highest dirt mound in Leakin Park that my mate is pretty perfect in the biblical sense (Was that good honey?). Even still, when traveling on the epically adventurous road of Together-Forever, one can find himself pondering the meaning of it all while making frequent pit stops to the friendly neighborhood Target. What pushes us to this wave Q&A? Maybe it’s the daily compromises we make to either please or appease our partners that ignite this way of thinking. I can’t quite put my finger on it but weekly brawls surrounding the rights of the undead on Vampire Diaries could spark an analysis or two. And the burning question becomes, is being single better?
By Corey Paschall9 years ago in Humans
Invisible Chronic Illnesses
So a friend or family member has an invisible chronic illness and all you seem to do is upset them? It feels like you're constantly walking on eggshells and you can't do anything right. Well here's some things you probably shouldn't say if you want to improve that relationship:
By Rebecca Gannon9 years ago in Humans
5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Seek Revenge on Your Ex-Boyfriend
Heartbreak is a bitch. We have all had our hearts broken. Have you ever had your heart broken in a way that makes you so angry, all you can think about is seeking revenge on your ex-boyfriend? Maybe he cheated on you, and that single friend of his, whom you only met a few times, was looking extremely cute the last time you saw him at a party, and you are thinking about giving him a call? Maybe your ex broke up with you in a cruel way, so you feel the need to blast all his secrets all over your Facebook or Twitter, or whatever social media account you have the most of his friends and family on.
By Beth Gibbons9 years ago in Humans
Diving For Hearts
When it comes to people who have made minimal impact to you in your life, even extended periods of time spent together can't make you want to keep in touch or make you reach out to them. You're more than content to let them go on about their lives without ever knowing if you're even still alive.
By Kellis Charles Lewis9 years ago in Humans
