satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
Not To Be Dramatic or Anything…
So I’ve had my fair share of sickness in my 23 (very nearly 24) years of being alive but up until a few years ago I thought my immune system was just too good at beating illnesses. I used to be the type of person that could wake up with a cold in the morning and go to bed that night feeling perfectly fine.
By Terri Allen3 years ago in Humans
Reporting from the Frontlines
My gut determined me. My will to understand the State of our Union and where we stand among the people. I was set on a mission to deliver to the people's representative. Our country has been so divided. One against another. Some against others. We need to know what is going on. We need to know what is happening. Something isn't right. And I got to see justice. So here I am preparing to go through the wilderness. I go unfiltered, unscripted, and unprotected. I am dressed like the average man. Like an average Black man, I want to see the horrors of segregation. As soon as I start traveling, we are stopped by the way. Officer pull us over and check the car asking for my license and registration. He holds me in handcuffs for a long 4 hours and then let me off with a warning after radio in the local police station. So I wait until he drives by and he slowly does with a stern face. I watched him and slowly get back into the car. So I am driving further down South. I'm kind of hungry and I got to used the bathroom. I drive to the nearest rest stop. Oh good there's two and as soon as I get out I see a man with shot gun at the entrance of the bathrooms. One says White only and the other says Colored. The White only was closer and the Colored was far away. I had a hard time trying not to mess on myself. And the White Only look brand new while the Colored look dirty and small. I slowly walked to get gas and the man with the shot gun was making sure his shot gun was working because he lifted it up while having one eye piercing me and he was dressed like a midage farmer. I walked in the store to pay but I had to go through a back entrance that said Colored only. The cashier would not take my money out of my hand told me to just drop the money on the counter. The cashier said I was a few bucks short. And I know I counted the money right but I gave an extra amount. The cashier said that there is a restaurant next door and to enter through the back. I said thank you sir and left out the back door. I walked a way to the restaurant through the back door and it was somewhat pack. I was the only Black man in there or so they suppose. And I heard the restaurant owner telling me he has no more room and that he could get my meal to go if I wait outside. I had to of course pay first which I did. It took an hour and when I came in. I heard a kid say who is that Momma? And she said it is just some N Word who got no business being around here. I put my face down and walk looking to the ground while taking my meal to not cause a disturbance and I ate in my car. Then I went further down South, I had to stop by the nearest hotel which was far off my trip, the Black owner of the hotel warned me that it is one of those nights and I should not be caught wandering. I was in my hotel room sleeping when I heard some noise outside. The Black owner of the Hotel and his staff were arguing with men in white robes and they said that if another thing happen this is what they would do. And I saw the men in white robes put a cross on the front lawn of the Hotel and set it on fire. From my window I was enraged. I was furious. This is not freedom. This is not justice. I will do one more thing before I return. I want to see and walk about. Walk about and see if this is what they called freedom. So first I stopped by the local bar, dancing to jazz and hearing Ella Fitzgerald's Swing but the bar was only half full and the band was sensation. After a few drinks, a White couple pop in and the bar owner said we want no trouble. And the White couple smiled and the bar owner removed the Black customers from the bar table to seat the White Couple. One of the men hit on the White Woman and she brushed it off. The White man said She is with me. I sat alone drinking a few more drinks and sitting up close to the band. There was a communtion outside after I left the bar, two Black men fighting in the alley one owned the other some money and I heard the police coming. I did not want to get in trouble with the police. I already had one experience. So I ran into the forest after I parked at the hotel and the cross was hours put out. So after hours and hours in the middle of the night, I walked through the nearby forest, quietly as the Moon was shining. I was humming Ella's song I like from the local bar. And I ran into a body hanging from the tree. I screamed and I had to cover my mouth if someone heard me. I might be next. I ran in the opposite way and there were a few more bodies. As I lit up my lantern, and I found my way back to the hotel. And I paid the receptionist and early that morning I left. I could not go deeper down South. I could not see anymore horror. I am just a reporter but Mr. President this has got to change. We have got to do something. It is unacceptable the conditions of Blacks and Browns. Our State is a State of Chaos and Division, where murder can oblige and crime is acceptable. Our State is a falsehood, freedom is a mirage. Blacks and browns may not be slaves but we have made them servants and their lives meaningless. We have lied to the people. We have stolen their dignity. We have disenfranchised them. We cannot promise hope without delivering freedom. Reporting to you Mr. President as an uncovered Black man stating the conditions of the South.
By Distinguished Honorary Alumni Dr. Matthew Primous3 years ago in Humans
Renaissance Festival War Stories: The Lost Scrolls 2022
Just as the cannon fires Sunday morning, I want to run a quick errand. I say, "I want to be back in 10 minutes." Jacqueline literally sets her clock and says, "Go." I don't think I need to run, but I should have known better. There is something about the time warp that is the festival grounds. I speed walk to where I need to go, but get stopped by friends on the way. I try to get through my salutations quickly. I go to the honey booth, but that vendor is always kind too and that always leads to conversation. I make my purchase and b-line back to the booth. I am stopped about 20 feet before the booth by my friend Greg who says he has something for me. This.. .
By Tinka Boudit She/Her3 years ago in Humans
England and it's rulers.
Did you know that England had 61 kings in its history? That makes me wonder, how amazing is to be a ruler. You have it so easy! But wait, is it really true? Let's start with the names. First king alone had name so difficult that even historians were conflicted on how to spell it! I mean, is it Ecgberht, Egbert, Ecgbert, Ecgbriht, Ecgbeorht or Ecbert?! I had difficulty writing it letter by letter, not to mention spell it. No wonder why he got so agressive and destroyed the kingdoms that wasn't so easy to influence. After so many tries to spell his own name, he probably gave up and said screw it, just destroy it.
By Joanna Golczynska3 years ago in Humans
Nervous Breakdown on Aisle Six
If there is one place most adults visit on a regular basis, it’s a grocery store. Depending on where you live in the United States or even outside of our country, you likely have a preferred destination for your grocery shopping needs.
By The Mouthy Renegade Writer3 years ago in Humans
