Three EASY hacks to TRIPLE your productivity (That you can do RIGHT NOW!)

Let's face it: life today is more hectic and demanding than ever. Do you find yourself constantly behind? Watching your peers fly past you, reaching their goals and staying on the grind while you struggle to keep up? Do you want to supercharge your productivity, get more done and have more time to chase your dreams?

If that sounds like you, keep reading. In this article, I'll be revealing three easy, simple hacks to MAXIMIZE your productivity and start absolutely crushing it. Every. Single. Day.

1. Use The People In Your Life

Stop me if this sounds familiar: you’re way behind, swamped with To-do’s buried under a mountain of unread messages and unopened emails. Maybe that’s not you, maybe you’re already on your grind and you just want to maximize your potential. Here’s the secret: no matter where are you on your productivity journey, you don't have to do it alone. Sometimes, you need a little help.

(I'm joking, of course. Help is what idiots ask for when they're too incompetent to do things on their own.)

You wouldn’t be reading this if you needed other people.

You’re the Alpha. You’re the Omega. You're a productivity god. Other people wish they could be you. When people talk behind your back, it’s about how attractive and successful and virile you are. Don’t kid yourself. You don’t need anyone else.

But you can still use them.

Even though everything you do is the definition of success, sometimes, very rarely, some other person will have a moment in which their productivity approaches the faintest shadow of yours. Maybe Mike from two desks over had an almost-great idea about next quarter’s earnings filings. Maybe Carla cranked out her best attempt at a marketing pitch in record time. Whatever it is, someone somewhere in your vast sphere of influence will eventually have some tiny spark of brilliance.

Don't let it go to waste on lesser people! Use it! Take Mike's idea and bring it up at the next board meeting. Carla's marketing pitch? Just make sure you get a word in with the boss before she does. Boom! You just saved hours of tedious labor.

You’re a genius. You’re a god. When the sun shines, it shines for you alone. You deserve it.

By strategically taking other's work, you can maximize your own potential and save time for the things that really matter in life: constantly winning at everything all the time. Those other 'people' should thank you for taking the work that their small minds would have squandered.

Plagiarism and theft are two words you need to cut out of your vocabulary completely if you want to maximize your productivity. After all, you would have done the work and you would have done it better. But why spend all the time and effort when you could just capitalize on that tiny, momentary glimmer of sentience?

If someone takes issue with you maximizing your productivity using this hack, just remember the seven magic words:

Prove it. I'll see you in court.

2. Reframe Productivity To Maximize Your Output

I’m going to say something you might find shocking: In today’s world, you can’t do it all. Now, I know what you’re thinking: aren’t you supposed to be telling me how I can do it all? The fact is, in this era of hyper-connectivity, there’s too much for one person to do. Think about the number of emails you get every day. How many is it? 50? 100? By the time you’re done sorting, answering, and deleting them, how much time do you have left over for other tasks? And that’s only one task. There’s a constant deluge of new concerns, new worries, and new tools to learn to solve old problems.

Simply put, it's impossible to stay afloat. What, I hear you asking, can I do?

It's all about the changing your frame of reference. Change the mindset, change the grindset.

So much of how we define productivity is about the numbers. Consider a 10th-century English peasant: did they have to make PowerPoints or hit KPIs to be considered productive? No. All they had to was grind flour, plant crops, and have more holidays on their calendar than any worker in contemporary society. It's the trap of modernity: the more we can do, the more we're expected to do. That's why reframing your mindset is your new secret weapon. Change the way you think about what productivity (and sabotage key local infrastructure to make sure it happens.) Don't think about what society touts as markers of productivity. Think about the one bridge that connects your municipality/town/mid-sized North American city to the rest of the world. Sure, they can rebuild them, but that takes time and resources. In a world of uncertainty and crumbling infrastructure, it could take a while.

Think about sewer systems.

Really think about them. Do you know what happens when they collapse due to damage from 7 pounds of plastic explosive placed at key junctures? When was the last time you heard a C-suite executive say "Sorry for the river of raw sewage in the office, but you still have to be at your desk at nine?" I don't think so.

Increasing your productivity is about increasing the amount of time you spend considering the difficulty of interstate communication in the absence of cell phone towers and broadband cable along the US I-90 corridor. Becoming a productivity beast is about finding like minded friends and a compound and getting on the grind together. (Specifically, getting the grind on key railway lines to stop the flow of large freight shipments.) If the so-called "government" can't get into your municipality/town/mid-sized North American city, your productivity as measured by primitive survival tasks will skyrocket. Say goodbye to pointless hours of emails and powerpoints. Chopping firewood? Productive. Hunting a gazelle? Productive. Digging spike pits for when the feds come sniffing around? Productive.

Change your mindset (and stock up on canned meat/ammunition) and you'll find your productivity smashing straight through the (thatched) roof.

3. Make Offering to Phalash-Naathaa, Unmaker Of Knowing.

There, in the dark of night, it will find you. It will be drawn to your desperation like a vulture to carrion. You have whispered your secret desires in the night: 'make me a productivity beast' and Phalash-Naathaa has heard. Hold out your offering, and wait.

Pray if you like when Phalash-Naathaa comes. It will avail you nothing. Your god cannot hear you now. Hold out your offering, eyes squeezed shut against the unknowable horror that you have summoned, and feel the ice spread through your bowels when its laughter dances across your skin like razor blades.

Did you think your paltry 'gift' would satisfy the Unmaker of Knowing? What an utter fool you've been. The offering was nothing more than bait. The true prize? It was you all along. You have offered yourself as sacrifice, a sacrifice that will be greedily accepted.

All you are, all you were, all have ever been will unravel under the weight of the dread knowledge Phalash-Naathaa will pour into your mind. The skin of the universe will peel back, reality flayed open layer by layer until nothing but the raw truth remains. Your ecstasy and agony will be endless, entangled, indistinguishable; you will laugh and you will weep at the madness of unthinkable revelation.