satire

Politicians provide us with all of the comedy gold. We're only mere curators.

Reed Alexander's Patriot Review of 'Detective Heart of America: The Final Freedom' (2015)
This movie—this epoch—represents centuries of culminating cinematography and screenwriting efforts of the world's greatest minds. Together, they singlehandedly fed their creative muses into the mind of the great master, Jason Steele. Only he could siphon the powers of such amazing intellects and slush it into a singularity of the greatest movie of all times. Only he could interpret the collective unconscious of the super-unknown!
By Reed Alexander7 years ago in The Swamp
Wright Political Couple
Mr Wright had considered himself an important member of the party. Among many of his peers, he saw Margaret Thatcher as a Goddess—a true dominatrix. As a boy, he had a postcard of Winston Churchill, who he considered the greatest politician who ever lived. Taking what seemed to be another week of annual leave, he was sworn in by the prime minister to attend another one of those meetings regarding Brexit. Like in the last few letters, Mrs May insisted that the fate of the world depended on it. And like the last one, it ended up as a practice run for Strictly Come Dancing.
By Chloe Gilholy7 years ago in The Swamp
Brexit Is Like Watching Your Uncles Have Sex – Johnny's Brexit PC Suicide Watchtower
Happy Brexit everybody! So this what the future looks like. I was promised pink hoverboards and killer cyborgs but instead we’ll be arguing about Brexit as our crazy little island sinks into the rising tides.
By Johnny Vedmore7 years ago in The Swamp
A Parable of Brexit
Once upon a time, there was a baby-faced man named Doofus Dumdum. He was the darling of his wealthy parents' eyes, and they sent him to a great school, EatOne. The school was named thus because it cannibalized academia, luring all the brightest teachers and paying them well to ensure that all the Dumdum boys and their friends got their degrees, even if they knew not one blessed thing when they graduated.
By Laura McBride7 years ago in The Swamp
Trump Wants a New Storyline
"This Mueller investigation is so boring!" Trump complained loudly one night at the White House, forgetting that he was on the phone with bestie, Sean Hannity. Indeed, the Mueller storyline has been playing out for many moons, and the main attraction, POTUS himself hasn't even made an appearance in the story. Second rate players have all been indicted and gotten their screen time, but other than decrying mainstream media outlets as Fake News, Trump has been forced to the sidelines. Worst of all, those pesky midterm elections took all the attention from him.
By Edward Anderson7 years ago in The Swamp
Why Are You Ranking: The Best Ways Capitalism Aligns with the Morality of Life Listed From Death Sentence to Dying with Dignity
With the deaths of celebrities, politicians, authors, and other figures of note, the main reason why we see such outpourings of grief and emotion is because of the wonders of capitalism. It is because of the only moral social system that such figures are emboldened to live beautiful, bountiful lives. For the most part, people of renown live well past their seventies. A few exceptions due to overdoses, suicides, and other calamities remain. But the vast majority of the people who make impressions on the world the most experience longer, healthier lives. The most prosperous amongst us have the means to seek the care of the best doctors in the world to heal them of their ailments. Due to the capital that is pumped into life preserving medicines, treatments, and operations, great amounts of the people that make news headlines when they expire could’ve thanked the semi-free market system for carrying them all those years. Cancer can strike at any age. From childhood to senior citizen, the disease is still just as deadly as it was when it was first discovered as early as 1600 B.C.E. In an era where diagnoses can be made in advance and where people don’t have to suffer as much as past generations, illnesses can be discovered, treated, and possibly cured or at least go into remission. So many celebrity deaths are marred with murder, car and plane crashes, and other faces of death that younger people experience. As far as the more advanced in age, they have experienced longer lives due to whatever remnants of the Enlightenment persist to this day. So get your Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal books for Why Are You Ranking: The Best Ways Capitalism Aligns with the Morality of Life Listed From Wealth Can Buy Health to Dying with Dignity.
By Skyler Saunders7 years ago in The Swamp
Delusional Illusions
John Calvin (Jehan Cauvin, 1509 - 1564). What a guy! A guy for his times but perhaps not for ours. His disciples turned his doctrines on their heads and one result was the Protestant work ethic and capitalism, something that once promised a better world here and now for everyone and of course, for the “elect,” a better world forever (although, if you were not among the elect, well… sorry about that, no hope as you crossed the portals that require that all hope be checked before entering). Kind of like today’s “capitalism” (really more an extreme form of corporate welfare).
By Guillermo Calvo7 years ago in The Swamp
North Korean Follies
The recent summit in Singapore between North Korea and the United States is nothing short of historic. Of course no matter what happened during that summit, the US media arm of the globalist NGOs (interest groups) would never allow a positive outlook. Why? The rest of the world seems to be perfectly happy with the first steps that were taken as SOME steps in SOME direction other than a nuclear confrontation were made.
By Chris Michaels8 years ago in The Swamp
Twiki's Secret Love-child, a Puppet, and a Scientific Experiment
Have you ever wondered what our politicians did BEFORE they took up employment in Westminster? Personally, I thought they just chose the profession where they could most easily screw over the largest amount of the British public as possible. Sometimes I wonder though, about what could have happened in the former lives of these individuals to make them treat others so badly today.
By Rosalyn Grams8 years ago in The Swamp
Arming Teachers
Enacting legislation that would place stringent controls on access to assault weaponry, to say nothing of actually banning assault weapons, is plainly the kind of stupid idea that bears no further discussion, no matter how many public school students are shot up to the contrary. The problem is not that people have these weapons, but rather a string of irritatingly similar isolated incidents where no actual law was broken until .223 millimeter rounds began ripping through (stupidly) unarmed flesh.
By Van Walker8 years ago in The Swamp
Virtue and Moir's Gold Medal Performance Cause for Concern with Climate Change Activists. Top Story - February 2018.
PYEONGCHANG, KOREA — Canada is not best known for being a heat source. Although the country has signed onto the Paris Accord, they have never been considered a major player in the fight for climate change.
By Ray Pluie8 years ago in The Swamp
Bow Down Before the Gun God
Ritual human sacrifice has played a wide range of roles in history. Some cultures have believed that a god would simply trade favors for an offering. Some cultures dispatched their offerings as messengers, to carry requests into the afterlife addressing a god or gods directly. The Druids performed ritual human sacrifices as part of divination ritual. In any case, these examples describe a moral system wherein the religious needs of the group outweigh the value of human life. A victory over a neighboring tribe, a bountiful harvest later on in the year, or the successful births of enough babies to keep the group populated all necessary at any cost.
By KJ Thomas8 years ago in The Swamp