satire
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
Why I Hate Pickup Trucks
Why I Hate Pickup Trucks Growing up in Oklahoma, you are expected to like four things: country music, barbecue, football, and pickups. Having discovered that country music wasn’t my thing at an early age, I couldn’t afford to dislike any of the other three. And up until I was five-years-old, that wasn’t a problem. I loved barbecue, played football, and even owned a toy pickup truck or two. Life was good.
By Aaron Kemnitz5 years ago in Families
20 G's
I acquired $20,000 last month, can you believe it?. I got it the old fashion way - I won a contest. No no, not the cake walk thing. I mean yeah, I won too but that was back in November before Thanksgiving at that school festival uptown. I won a pie. I had to do a quick bit of pondering as to whether to accept it or not. I had a vision of a nice bundt cake or German chocolate but instead had a pie foisted on me. It was pecan which is my favorite so I didn’t make waves. This time. Next year I’m gonna get the ground rules before standing on the circle.
By Mark Manche5 years ago in Families
Her Inheritance
Of all of her family members, Aspen was the most tolerable. She sat on the chaise lounge chair of the entertainment room, separated from everyone else. She couldn’t even look at them as they haggled over pieces of her grandfather's estate, arguing over minute details of his confusing will. She sat in silence, grieving in isolation.
By Catherine Grace5 years ago in Families
The Leo Lies
Someone is lying to the world. I won’t tolerate a liar, I just can‘t stand for it. The originator of this vast conspiracy, this web of deceit, has never revealed themself. Should they ever come out of hiding I plan to be at the head of the line to rebuke, chastise and correct their heinous thoughts. I feel as though stopping this aggregious pack of lies would be my gift to the world.
By Dale Austin 5 years ago in Families
Nothing Like Some Family Dysfunction
Have you ever had that intuitive feeling in your gut? You know what I’m talking about ; that feeling that you know something is coming your way, you just weren’t quite sure what it would be. Well, I was always sure of what would happen to me; I knew I would be a big deal. Now, seeing as I wasn’t very popular, was never particularly good at anything and had never really won something in my life (save for that one “participation” medal in elementary, which really is probably even worse than not winning at all), it was long shot to think I would come out on top, but I knew my luck would turn around one day, I just knew it.
By Michael Vidakis5 years ago in Families
A Trip To Florida
Silence... complete and utter silence filled our bedroom. I looked over at my husband. Watched as he stared blankly outside of our window. I sighed. Unsure of what to say or do. Honestly, the only thing that I could manage to muster up was a gentle apology. I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t the best when it came to condolences. Most people would probably embrace their spouse, you know try to console them. Not my socially awkward ass. It took me a second to even realize I was giving him that weird church pat on his back. You know the one where people usually say “There there everything is going to be alright.” He smiled, he appreciated my effort despite my uncomfortableness. Chauncey wasn’t one to show much emotion anyway. I had to admit that this situation was a hard pill to swallow. Beyond pouring salt on a wound. I would even call it a living nightmare to be exact. It was only 45 minutes ago that his mother called him hysterically crying. From what I could over hear, his uncle had passed, and willed him his beach house in Florida. We only had a day to get packed, and load up the car.
By Mia 'Oldskool' White5 years ago in Families
Building a Better Matchstick
A long time ago, I went to Russia. I met, fell in love with, and married a beautiful Russian translator. Not long after we married my Russian bride and I were at home enjoying the high levels of humidity that is south Alabama. For some reason, she really wanted to know the location of military outposts nearby. I think she was studying one of her history classes.
By Paul Swann5 years ago in Families
Manifesting 101: for students who desperately need a change.
Manifesting 101: for students who desperately need a change. Moving into student accommodation really highlighted to me why I wanted to stay at my actual home so bad, it is so strange here and everything is a clinical, off white colour. The whole place reeks of feet, old food and a faint punge of cigarette smoke. Nice. I wish I could stay at my own home but I have had to go to university finally, apparently I can’t have another gap year which seems ridiculous to me. I was completely wrongfully accused of spending all of my money and still not having a job, which was not acceptable for my parents. I argued that I had a job, it was merely unpaid. My mother didn’t like that I reminded her of that. They cut off my allowance until I prove to them that I am working hard.
By Carmen Taylor5 years ago in Families
Stay Connected
Dear Friend, Good morning – rise and shine. Hope you had a good night. What’s that – your baby sleeps through the night? Good, good… that’s good. You do know that babies need to feed every 6 hours to get sufficient nutrition, though? Good, good… just don’t let him wake too many times, if so, he’s manipulating you, and you need to let him cry.
By Elena Brooks5 years ago in Families
Mom lyfe and school
10 Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again. There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.
By Ms. Meowtini Straight-Up5 years ago in Families
