satire
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." - George Burns
I’m Flockin Here!
2020 was a pretty wild year, but I don’t need to tell you that. It was historic…we all saw how crazy things got. It was a dark, confusing time and a lot was covered up. And I didn’t even know about plastic then either, so... wait, I’m talkin’ about the Rockefeller Christmas tree incident, what’d you think I meant? I doubt we need to do introductions here, but I’ll play along. My name is Rockefeller, you know the name, the center, the tree, the bird. So yeah, in case you didn’t know I’m kind of a big deal.
By Bailey Lewis5 years ago in Families
Holidazed and Confused. Second Place in Holiday Card Outtakes Challenge.
Earlier this month, my mom and I spent a day decorating our living room for Christmas. After putting on Carrie Underwood's holiday album, setting up the tree and hanging multicolored lights, my mother opened a box of knick knacks to pretty up the hanging shelves just above our sofa.
By Kathryn Milewski5 years ago in Families
The Value of the Letter Q
THE VALUE OF THE LETTER "Q" A Short Essay By: Char Wilcox December 16, 2011 Re-visited: November 7, 2020 Note: This is not an official Essay, I'm sharing it because it makes me giggle to have written such a silly piece. Oh the things we will do as parents to help our children along.
By Char Wilcox5 years ago in Families
Fishing - the great stress reliever
“Whiiirrrllllll” punctured the morning calm. A dink followed by a plop echoed over the water as first the sinker and then the bobber stuck the water a short 25′ from the lake shore. A cascading ring of circles emanated from where the sinker pierced the water and another from the location marking the spot the falling weight pulled the red/white plastic sphere from the air and into contact with the otherwise nearly flat lake’s surface.
By john carter5 years ago in Families
Swimming Lessons
Swimming lessons. The very thought sent shivers down my spine. I couldn’t wait for school to end, but I dreaded the advent of having to spend an entire morning for three weeks at Jordan pool. Rumours swirled around the pool deck that someone had seen an actual chunk of ice floating in the pool that morning. Charlie McBain swore that he saw the life guards dump bags of ice in the pool – then again, Charlie had also claimed that the life guards were really former convicts. I had passed through ‘red’ last year, and was now in ‘maroon’ – whatever that meant. I wasn’t thinking of the colour as much as the state of being ‘marooned’ on this wretched pool deck on a Monday morning with the prospects of having to spend a couple hours submerged in a hypothermia inducing pool. As I huddled with my fellow ‘maroonies’ (morons?) I looked around the pool deck. A heavy fifteen foot chain link fence surrounded the pool deck. The tall lifeguard chairs served as the watchtowers to this compound. There would be no escape. I looked beyond the chain link fence to my mother sitting with a group of ladies in their nice comfy lawn chairs – they seemed to enjoy this unfolding horror, just as the Romans enjoyed watching spectacle unfold in their coliseums.
By Greg Slingerland5 years ago in Families
The Pookini Incident
My husband and I took our kids to the beach at new year, despite a pending divorce. My youngest (5) asked to buy a "boo-kini" instead of her usual one piece. The story that follows is long and runny. If you vomit easily, you might want to keep scrolling. Sooooo all was okay the first night, but temps dropped ten degrees more than average before we could try out the new bathing suit at the beach. We go to the beach after having seafood lunch at a not so well advised "pirate tourist trap." The beach is pretty much what you expect if you know full well that it's at or around 49 degrees, rainy, and high winds, BUT STILL GO TO THE BEACH. Naturally, kids strip down to skivvies and hop into waves. I put jeans over my yoga pants, over my running leggings, and every long sleeve thing I brought under my sweatshirt and jacket. (I'm a Texas girl born and bred- I don't like to be cold. Seriously I've seen snow twice in my life, and I was over it pretty quick.) We attend to this fantastic Antarctic summer day. The kids are happily splashing around. "Almost ex," and I do our best not to chill the air further by talking to each other. After about a mile of strolling in this beautiful Alaskan storm, the kids are ready for a snack, and the youngest says she must use the bathroom. We begin to head back to the truck (I say truck, but it's a big Ford Excursion).
By Texas Christie5 years ago in Families
The Unknown Call Turns into a Prank
A look of fear flashed into my eyes, my heartbeat sickeningly in great pounding thumps, sounding right up in my ears. An uncomfortable silence prevailed in the room. “What will happen if ever my mistake is out in the open?” I whispered under my breath, hidden in the darkest corner under my bed away from the glare of prying eyes which started to appear in my mind.
By Nusrat Khan Juhoor6 years ago in Families
