humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Sometimes Life Is Just a Barn Full of Bull Crap
The Playstation 2: a shining, monolithic, matt black box of endless possibilities to the twelve year old mind. The wondrous console symbolized more to me than just Sony’s flagship gaming console during the early to mid 2000s. It was a vehicle to vivid dreamscapes, a one way ticket to countless worlds for exploration, and a stark departure from the red-hatted plumber my brothers and I had grown up placing on the same childhood pedestal of admiration and endearment as Mr. Rogers.
By Henry Shaw4 years ago in Humans
Dear Xylo (Issue #3). Top Story - June 2022.
Dear Xylo is an advice column published weekly. Xylo is an expert at nothing, yet answers questions on every topic. Sometimes he is spot on and other times he's dead wrong - that's the chance you take with Dear Xylo.
By Rick Henry Christopher 4 years ago in Humans
A Love Letter to Iced Lattes
To my dearest Iced Latte, My sweet, tender love. It’s been some time since we last spoke. Too much time, perhaps. Yet your gorgeous shades of brown, delicate curves and icy embrace are still so intricately engraved into my mind, and I shall forever cherish the memories of those warm summer days we shared together.
By J. R. Lowe4 years ago in Humans
The Name
The Name From this point on I have not said what this girl’s name was and I guess I thought that I would be protecting her from me writing about her, but I realize that there is no way that she would even be reading these stories so there is no reason why I can’t at least post her first name on here. This girl’s name that has completely taken me away to dreamland is Jackie. She was perfect in every sense of the word. She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and a slender figure. Her skin looked soft as silk and her smile could brighten up anyone’s day. She also either maintained a tanned physique or it was natural. When she walked into a room, everyone took notice. Jackie was my age so I should have been able to just walk up to her and “shoot the breeze”? No, I don’t think that would be possible. Jackie wasn’t a snob like most other girls in the school. She actually was someone who you could walk up to and start talking to, however, that person was just not me. I didn’t know how to do that, plus her boyfriend probably would have pounded me to the ground if I even attempted to try and do that.
By Patrick Bramer4 years ago in Humans
Bomb Pops Away!
Let's talk about conditioning. You know what I mean: the Pavlov's dog type of thing. But I'm not talking about dogs. I'm talking about American kids and ice cream trucks. If you can resist that wonky tune as it grows closer on a hot summer day, then your local ice cream truck guy was a lot less skilled than mine was. I was carefully conditioned to a specific response. A response that was so ingrained that even years later it could override all bonds, including the bonds of marriage and basic human decency. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
By Nichole Bonham4 years ago in Humans
Why Can't Men Stop Staring At Our Boobs?
What is with the guys who can’t look you in the face because their eyes are glued to your breasts? Or worse — what is with guys who do the darting thing, where their eyes bounce up and down like ping pong balls while they’re talking to you because they’re trying to sneak a look at your boobs (which are nothing but clothing-clad mounds of fat and glandular tissue, by the way. Imagine a stick of butter wearing a t-shirt. Same difference). Seriously, guys like that give me vertigo.
By Bev Potter4 years ago in Humans
F*ck Your Future
Everyday people are always telling us "Plan for the future, make sure you have your future set in stone" And while that's wise advice to some degree, we also need to focus on the present. See if we keep worrying about the future we won't have time to enjoy the present. Yes it's wise to plan for the future and keep doing so! But also enjoy the present. Make mistakes, be an idiot, have regrets, be silly. Do it all. You're only young once and someday when you get older you'll regret the things you didn't do while you had the chance. So go travel, start the business, learn the lessons, fall in love with the wrong people. Get your heart fucking stomped on so you can come back stronger then before. Do all the things.
By Amanda Nicole4 years ago in Humans
5 Reasons Being A Spinster Cat Lady Is Better Than Ever Marrying A Man
Despite cellphones, women being allowed to bear more than their ankles, and the age of marriage getting older, the concept of a spinster still exists. A "spinster" is an unmarried woman of a certain age. Comparatively, an unmarried man of a certain age is called a "bachelor". (Of course, this also follows heteronormative ideals cause only a man can alleviate a woman of her spinster status).
By Alisan Keesee4 years ago in Humans
Oooh That Smell
Smell, It's a sense everyone has, or they used to. The struggle is real, and I'm over it. I never thought I would miss the stench of my kid's farts when they toot next to me, but here I am. Just typing that sentence above seems bizarre to me. Who would miss a fart creeping up their nose? My guess is no sane person, so if you see me waving from the crazy train, mind your business or come aboard. We have plenty of room.
By Stephanie Downard4 years ago in Humans
The Pedestrian’s Tale
Kent Brindley; FitBit Enthusiast, Walker (mostly by choice), and Pedestrian Advocate by necessity. Nice to meet you. We here in my hometown are approaching the Summer season again with far more vehicle traffic and a lot more foot traffic to boot.
By Kent Brindley4 years ago in Humans
