satire
Relationship satire can be cathartic; when love hurts too much, just laugh.
Hot Singles in Your Area
You know how sometimes you’ll meet a couple of sweethearts, and they tell you this heartwarming story of how he was in a hot air balloon, she was stuck in a tree, and that’s how they met? I don’t. Clearly it’s a thing, people used to meet people in real life. But now it’s more like: he swiped right, then she swiped right, then she ghosted him and he stalked her, now they’re happily in love? Excuse me what? Now I’m not saying I was born in the “wrong generation” and frankly, anyone who does say that deserves to be drop-kicked to a different one. What I’m saying is, you are all so weird. Somewhere in Facebook headquarters is everyone’s favorite Mark Zuckerberg, feeding you all your next life decisions from afar. And for some wild reason, that concerns absolutely nobody at all. But this isn’t about Marky Mark and his very own funky bunch, don’t think you’re getting away with being a weird creep. Let’s discuss, my lovely internet swipers with no real confidence or social skills. Quick disclaimer: as a straight male with no experience out of my field, I will be sticking to what I know best (ie. straight people dating apps). But since this article is bound to be dubbed as “homophobic” anyways, go wild buddy.
By Josh Loewen5 years ago in Humans
Something you said
So, recently my friend texted me. It was something about an incident that happened around 4 years ago give or take. What's astonishing is the fact that the thing turned out to be very different from what I expected or at least remembered. Probably because I was unaware of few things on different levels. It's about how your words can mean a lot of things, how they're misinterpreted and used against you and the aftermath, how people put fuel in the fire.
By Marmik Sharma5 years ago in Humans
Mental Meeting
Hey, team! Circle up; it’s almost sequel time, so we need to have a little meeting about where you all are and what I need from you. I’ve got my current A-squad, you’re all doing amazing! I know it’s bizarre to suddenly be thrown from the abstract to the real world; but, you’ve handled it with grace for the most part. B-squad, I know you’re chomping at the bit to get out on the field! I need a little more patience from you. There’s a lot of set-up and exposition to sort out, and we don’t want to fumble on that. If it comes across as clunky, we’ll lose the audience we’ve started to build! You don’t want to perform to rows of empty seats, do you?
By Michaela Calabrese5 years ago in Humans
Brace For it
I write this sitting on fruit crate outside an abandoned K mart, Brandon, my 13 year old step brother is creating a pile of drool. The spit is slowly sliding out of his mouth to hit a pool that is way too close to my shoes for comfort. This kid has not been able to contain his spit ever since he was a loud crying toddler. I would be passed out on the beaten down mattress beside me, but every time I put my head down my braces stab me in the cheek. If you really want to know about how my awkward teenage life became well, this, then let me go on. It all started with a kiss, or lack there of.
By Rheanna Philipp5 years ago in Humans
The Owl
Computers were devouring me. They were eating me alive. The internet was a monster sucking nervous energy from my insides. My social life in messages and posts, gambling, porn. Yeah. Porn. Such rich colors. Real life was dull fare. Then I was sacked for spending so much time on my phone at work. I knew better but Mr Should was not Mr Driver.
By Felix Alexander Holt5 years ago in Humans
Exactly What You Expect
The shattering of glass breaks me from my trance like state. My eyes go wide, my hair sticking up on the back of my neck. I quickly mute the TV, and I’m surprised to see I’ve almost made it through an entire season of a show without even realizing it. I mean, what else is Netflix good for other than to be background noise while I play on my phone aimlessly for hours?
By Lindsay Dewolfe5 years ago in Humans
Tale of Dunning Krueger Continued
Hello, let me introduce myself again. My name is Dunning Krueger and what I did not mention in my last article is that my wife is a Karen. No, her name is not Karen, she is a Karen. She will watch everything thing you do and judge you for it. She blows up over the tiniest things, but we are not here to talk about her but to talk about me.
By Ferrari King5 years ago in Humans
