Micro aggressions

A collaboration or things said to me, done to me; and things I’ve witnessed and stories of many shared with me. Micro aggression is a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority. (the dictionary)

"I don't see color"

“You’re Black but not Black”

“Not real Black”

“The Blacks”

“You’re so articulate”

“Oh You finished school?”

“Was your dad around?”

“Oh your dad was around!”

“I don’t understand why Sydney Sweeney’s ad is controversial, could better educate us on why?” ….Google is free

“Is that your hair?”

“Oh wow, your hair actually long?”

“You’re pretty for a Black girl”

“You’re not that Asian”

“Where are you from?”

“Where are you really from?”

“Hey, Juan!”…That’s not my name

**Pulls eyes back** …it was just a joke…then why aren’t we both laughing?

**imitates accent** if I do it back, is it just as funny?

“The story needs to be accurate no body was Black there!”…mermaids aren’t real

“Whose your favorite rapper?”…I don’t listen to rap

“You listen to white people music”…Chuck Berry and Lady Bo but ok

“You must be athletic”

“Why do you have to make everything about race?”…or did you and I called you on it?

“They make being Black their whole personality”…or is that all you notice of me? Or does it bother you I still strive and smile despite a hostile system against me?

“Oh you grew up here!?”…Yeah, wow I’m not from the projects, you do know system racism is a thing right

“I didn’t know you would be into Black girls”…opposed to what? The standard?

“Can you do something about your hair?”

“Why isn’t your hair like an Afro?”

“Do you know this person?” ***proceeds to asks of someone from your background assuming we all know each other***

“You’re paying!?”…

“You’re a doctor?…what do your parents do?”

“You’re sooo intelligent”

“You’re soooo pretty”

“That’s your car!?”

“You guys could be siblings”…we’re not even the same shade or color

“Are you both related?”…No he’s from Bangladesh and I’m…never mind

“You speak Mexican!!!!”…I’m Dominican; those are not the same …never mind

“You don’t actually speak Russian” привет меня зовут тюльпан как дела? Never mind you wouldn’t believe me

“You can only do Japanese good because you’re nixed with Chinese”…I’m sorry what?!!

***proceeds to touch hair without permission***

“We tried it with your people no body wants to watch that”…Scarlet Johansson is not Japanese, they should have not white washed…never mind

**dirty looks for walking with a white boyfriend*** “Disgusting!” When I pass by not loud enough for him to hear until he sees me respond.

“You can’t afford that”

“How can you afford that!”

“Oh My God! I went through this phase where I only dated Black Guys!** to the only darker skinned person at the table…no wonder they are single still

“Do you want me to call the police on you?! I just wanted to make sure you paid for that?”

“What are you doing in this neighborhood?”

“Do you live here?” “You don’t actually live here”

“I’m not racist I have a Black friend”

**tells a story and brings up the person’s race excessively for the story that has nothing to do with it**

“I’ll call the cops!”…and do what? Lie; yeah that’s nothing new

“All Lives Matter!” No one said that, the point is that Black Lives Matter as much as White lives but I guess I see where you stand

“Why are you being aggressive I’m just trying to help” when you’re politely asking a question

“I’m not being aggressive; you are!”

**finding a quiet corner to sit**…proceeds to walk by people who can help them but will stand in your space as close as possible just to be in your space

“Are you my Aide?” No I’m your nurse… “I want a white nurse, you got here through DEI”…you know a white woman is DEI as well right…never mind

“This can be difficult for you to comprehend”

“They didn’t mean what they said you should forgive them” so we’re excusing micro aggressions or prejudice behavior? Sure because protecting that behavior won’t have harmful long lasting effects

**Proceeds to change their speech pattern to match your ethnicity instead of speaking like themselves***

“You know how they are”…sure let’s not acknowledge this country’s dark history

**proceeds to tone police after comfortably being offensive**

“She’s the reason they are offended otherwise he wouldn’t defend her” oh so just insult his whole character and blame me

“What kind of Indian are you?”…I’m not from India…”Same thing”..literally it’s not

“Hey guys! We’re gonna have a real thanksgiving cause I brought a real Indian!”

How did you know I was mixed with Native American?…”I’ve dated one before” …ok didn’t realize you were collecting tokens

“I don’t speak Spanish”…I was speaking English

“Why don’t anyone here speak English! This is America!”…you know before European colonization, North America was inhabited by hundreds of distinct tribes and over 300 to 500 unique languages. These languages were grouped into approximately 50 to 60 distinct language families but I digress

”SPEAK ENGLISH”…it’s not my fault your privilege failed you that you didn’t stop to learn something else

“Everyone’s been a slave so what?!”…No one is debating but global history and American white washed history combined with binding structural systemic racism doesn’t exactly tell an honest story…

“She had a weird laugh”

“Affirmative action is great right!”…sure..because someone had to be forced to not discriminate; not because I’m not qualified.

“Yeah but Black women are always strong, so its okay”

“Well you know Black girls are fast”…no they’re hyper sexualized

“Get up, that’s my seat”…I arrived here 20 minutes before you and seats are not assigned…no

“Black fatigue is so real…” ha, ok…still not addressing the constant issues we don’t get a break from

Why do you have to be in my space specifically?…that’s okay I’m not moving and no I’m not uncomfortable but you will be

“Do you have a place to stay? Are you in the streets?” Woman i am doing yoga “OH!!!!…really!”

“I know a pretty tree for you”

**being followed around a store with your metal credit card cause you might steal something**…I just saw the blonde woman steal from you while you were watching me

“She’s amazing but I dont want dark skin grandchildren”

**whispering the word Black because you’re sitting in the room**

“You don’t belong here!”…I’m trying to deliver a package..why are you racially profiling me…”You people always make everything about race”

“Are you Japanese or Korean?…I thought so I know my Asians”…wtf

“Why didn’t they just get up if it was that bad?”…I guess you’ve never been so uncomfortable that you’re numb and unfazed by a daily occurrence

“Apparently I can’t say the word BLACK anymore”

“This is my Black boyfriend”…want a cookie? Cause we all know that tone

“Your people” “You people”…oh we all know that tone

“You remind me of someone, you look just like Angela Basset!”

“You look like Janet Jackson”

“You look just like Billie Holiday”

“You know that ummm, that umm Black actress ummm you look just like her; so pretty” I’m sure i look like all of them and every shade but I digress.

What exactly about me reminds you of them?…”you know”…so say it with your chest

When you’re no longer the “safe” person of color who fits into a warped character box, so they cancel the humanity subscription you were barely given

“Your name is too difficult to pronounce I’m gonna call you…” so let’s adjust to your comfort because my name doesn’t matter; i get it cause i dont too

“No we’re closing sorry I can’t sell that to you”…oh okay…**proceeds to open register to sell to the white family that are in after me**

“You’re bringing the vibes down”…I greeted everyone and quietly went to work; I’m not your entertainment

**Proceeds to use white woman tears as a weapon to be portrayed as a victim** Jesus Sarah just say it with your whole chest

“Are you Haitian?…Jamaican? African? What part of Africa?”

“Are you Chinese?…what kind of Asian are you?…Malaysia? Is that in China?”

“You can’t be red skinned you’re just BLACK” ***proceeds to do make up incorrectly**

**attempts to film or take a picture of one self….proceeds to walk in front of camera making full eye contact with it just to be in your space and ruin your shot**

“Why can’t I wear a headdress for fun!”…We’re not a costume and do you know the meaning behind it? No…didn’t think so

“Monkey”…last time I checked we’re not known for having such thin lips like apes do…but I digress

“I don’t have to say excuse me to you”

“Why can’t I say the n word?”…cause its abused; leave it alone

“Excuse me do you work here? Are you the help?”…I’m wearing scrubs, stethoscope and medical bag but sure I work at iHop

These aren’t isolated moments. They are patterns. If you see yourself here and feel defensive, sit with that…not with me.

It never stops but it’s always the same script, hope you learned something from reading this but feel free to add your own experiences in the comments. share as much and as little as you would like I’m hoping this will be a therapeutic post for those who want to express themselves.