satire
Health and Wellness satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the Longevity digital space.
Pandemic
...Have you heard about the new virus that has been going around? OF COURSE you have!! The media has made it a priority to disperse the news about the Coronavirus, now called COVID 19, but unlike the H1N1 or the Ebola virus that have come and gone... this time they are making it to be a lot more aggressive than it is. It is starting to be called a pandemic.
By Must Love Dogs 6 years ago in Longevity
Coronavirus:The quirky side of COVID-19
I feel that if someone tells me one more time to "wash my hands" I might scream. They are even coming up with songs to use as a backing track for that 20-minute hand wash. You end up feeling like a surgeon, scrubbing up for the next op! But when you see what some people are doing in an effort to evade coronavirus, you sometimes have to laugh.
By Anne Sewell6 years ago in Longevity
Pride (and a Bus Pass) Will Get Me Everywhere!
“Pride goeth before a fall.” So, they say so. Perhaps I am not one to talk, but I can definitely (and easily) relate to this. There have been MANY instances where my pride has gotten in my way. Perhaps, I should have seen the fall coming, but pride always got in my way.
By Maurice Bernier6 years ago in Longevity
Doyle Syndrome
I had to check that there wasn’t a real illness called Doyle Syndrome prior to writing this post, and there isn’t, so we’re good. Although if there was, I’d just call it Mrs. Doyle syndrome — which may give you some idea as to where this is going. My memory was jolted by an article published on The Establishment, “This Is Why Consent Doesn’t Exist For Disabled Folks,” which goes in to the numerous ways in which disabled people are required to give more of themselves in order to get the same treatment as able-bodied people. An important issue it raises is the stripping of agency from disabled individuals by the able-bodied.
By Katy Preen8 years ago in Longevity
Torches of Freedom
I have brought you here today to bring attention to the fact that we have had a human right taken from us. We once had right, to do as we please, but that all changed once the sourpusses got hold of what we were doing. They whine and dine with their cheese, saying that “it is not good for us,” and “can harm our health.” Well, I am here today to snuff out their illegitimate complaints. These pessimists do not understand the beauty of human addiction, the kind of relationship that we gain as we go on. But thanks to them, we have had this constitutional right taken from us; our torches of freedom are extinguished. We cannot publicly smoke cigarettes anymore.
By Lydia Grace9 years ago in Longevity
Dear Tummy;
I wish we had a better relationship. I have been trying since I was a teenager to feel better about you but our negative relationship still haunts me every single day. I have tried everything to hide you. Extreme corsets, tummy-slimming undies, control top pantyhose, baggy shirts, those horribly uncomfortable tummy-tucking Lycra shorts thingies that just end up rolling down and creating a weird lump under my clothing... you name it, I've tried it. And still, there you are like a creepy stalker following me everywhere I go.
By Sarah Sparks9 years ago in Longevity
Darby Burl's No Bullshit Reviews: Deodorant
Howdy y’all! Welcome to this week’s edition of Darby Burl’s No Bullshit Reviews. I’m Darby Burl! Last time we talked about Wonder Woman’s lack of muscles. For today’s review, I will step out of my lady lumberjack comfort zone and into granola-chompin’, patchouli-stankin’ hippie-land to try a new deodorant.
By Darby Burl9 years ago in Longevity
30 Things I'm Still Doing In My 30's
If you were to ask me as a teenager what I would be doing at the fine age of 34, I am pretty sure my current situation wouldn't be it. Not that I don't love my life now, because I do, I really do, but I most likely pictured myself living in a dope ass New York City loft, wearing Gucci head to toe, and designing clothes and saying things like, "right on top of that Rose". If you don't know what movie I am referring to then you are probably too young to even be reading this article. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead people, come on! However, like I said I never saw myself living in central Jersey burbs, chasing around two kids who I love and despise more than anything in the world, still rocking colored hair (purple currently) and a wardrobe mostly full of "active wear". Side note, "active wear" is now the cool word for yoga pants and tank tops with motivational sayings like, Gym Hair Don't Care. Ugh! Aside from the aesthetic version of the now me, I also didn't think I would still be this big of a child. Dancing in my living room like I am god damn Brittney Spears, curing hangovers with 3 Advil and Coca Cola, and begging my kids to build tents with me. I know all adults must give into their inner child now and again, but I think something may be wrong me. It's like my body, common sense, and patience grew up but deep down I am still 17-years-old with 8-year-old tantrums. Here are 30 things I am still doing in my thirties. I am hoping most of you can check a few off yourselves.
By Jus L'amore9 years ago in Longevity
